


A Love Stronger Than Time

by TrisPrior111



Category: Doctor Who, Nightwish, Tuorja
Genre: F/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-26
Packaged: 2018-05-29 08:20:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 21,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6366601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrisPrior111/pseuds/TrisPrior111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fanfiction is a T and T/Doctor Who crossover. You don't have to watch Doctor Who to read it. All you have to know about DW is explained in the story. For those of you that watch Doctor Who, this is supposed to take place after season 4 but before the specials (the 10th doctor).</p>
<p>Just incase you do not know the story of the two Nightwish events referenced in this story:</p>
<p>October 21st, 2005 was the End of an Era concert, right before they fired Tarja with an open letter. Here's the link: http://nightwish.wikia.com/wiki/Open_Letter_to_Tarja_Turunen </p>
<p>July 28th, 2000 was their concert in Guadalajara, Mexico when a fan attacked Tarja onstage.<br/>Here's the whole story: http://boonothing.tumblr.com/post/76016968294/what-did-happen-to-tarja-on-nightwishs-first</p>
<p>It is not necessary to have a full understanding of these events before reading, because they are explained, but it is just for background knowledge if you want it :D</p>
<p>Thank you to my best friend Nicole for helping me write this!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

October 21st, 2015

 

Tuomas stared at the date on the calendar until it blurred before his eyes. 10 years. It had been 10 years since the End of an Era. 10 years since he had done what he regretted most, what he would never forgive himself for. 10 years since he had forced the woman he loved out of his life for good, in the cruelest way possible.

 

These thoughts were swirling through his head as he stepped out into the crisp Finnish night air and began to walk. He didn’t have a destination in mind; all he knew was that he couldn’t bear to be in his house any longer. Tears began to stream down his face until he couldn’t see what was in front of him anymore, and he didn’t see the blue police box until he had almost walked right into it. Startled, he stepped back and looked around. He had walked a long way, but he still recognized the street he was on, and he knew for a fact that there was not supposed to be a police box on this sidewalk. Tentatively, he reached up and knocked on the door, not knowing what had possessed him to do that because for all he knew there could be a serial killer inside. He stepped back, cursing his stupidity, and was about to turn and run when the door opened and a man with a brown pin striped suit, brown hair, and glasses stepped outside.

 

“Hello,” the man said. He had an English accent. “How can I help you?”

 

“Um, I just … I noticed the, uh … box and I hadn’t seen it before, so I … um,” Tuomas struggled to find what to say and rocked back and forth with his hands in his pockets. He caught a glimpse inside the police box and saw that its depth was much larger than he would have estimated from the outside. He almost fell forward trying to see further inside it, but caught himself.

 

“Want to have a look inside?” the man asked.

 

“Well, I don’t really know … why does it look like it’s so big? Is it some sort of optical illusion?” Tuomas asked. 

 

The man said nothing, just walked inside, as if silently daring Tuomas to follow, which he did.

 

Tuomas froze as he stepped inside and his eyes scanned the space he was now in. It looked like some sort of control room, with a console in the center and cords and supports stemming out from it. The only problem was that it was vast. Much too vast to be contained in the small police box Tuomas had seen from outside. 

 

He dashed back outside and then slowly walked around the edges of the box, running his hand along the dark blue painted wood as he did so.

 

He walked back to the entrance and cautiously stepped inside again to find the man in the pinstriped suit and glasses leaning against the console, his arms folded across his chest and an amused expression on his face.

 

“It’s … it’s … ,” Tuomas stuttered. “It’s bigger on the inside.”

 

“Yes, yes it is,” the man smiled. “Wonderful observation.”

 

“What is it?” Tuomas asked.

 

“A TARDIS. Time and relative dimension in space.”

 

Tuomas just stared at him.

 

“Or in more simple terms, she’s my spaceship.”

 

“Your spaceship,” Tuomas repeated.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Okay, what- what is this? Is this some kind of a sick joke to get my autograph? You could have just asked, I mean-”

 

“Your autograph?”

 

“...you don’t know who I am?”

 

“No,” the man said. He looked genuinely confused. “Am I supposed to?”

 

“Well, no, of course not. Especially if you’re not from here. It’s just, I’m in this band called Nightwish and we’re pretty famous in Europe, but in Finland almost everyone knows who we are.”

 

“Oh,” the man smiled. “That sounds nice. But no, I actually didn’t want your autograph. I was just passing through here. She broke down all of the sudden so I Ianded immediately in order to repair her. Did you say we’re in Finland?”

 

“Yes,” Tuomas nodded. “In Kitee.”

 

“Nice country, Finland,” the man said.

 

“Yes, it is,” Tuomas said.

 

There was an awkward pause.

 

“So … who exactly are you?” Tuomas asked.

 

“I’m the Doctor,” the man stuck out his hand, and Tuomas climbed the steps to the console to shake it.

 

“I’m Tuomas,” he said. “The Doctor … of what, exactly?”

 

“Just the Doctor,” he smiled.

 

“Okay … why do you have a spaceship?”

 

“Well, I’m an alien. Don’t all aliens need spaceships?”

 

“You’re an alien? You look just like me.”

 

The Doctor winked. “Clever disguise, huh? Feel my hearts.”

 

“Hearts?”

 

“Yes. I have two hearts. I’m a Time Lord from the planet of Gallifrey, not a human.”

 

Tuomas tentatively placed his hand on the Doctor’s chest. He gasped when he felt two hearts beating.

 

“But that’s … that’s … impossible.”

 

The Doctor smiled knowingly, as if he had seen this reaction many times before.

 

“So this is really a spaceship?” Tuomas whispered, hardly daring to believe it. He wrote about magical worlds with supernatural beings all the time in his songs, but he had never dreamed that something like this would actually happen to him.

 

“Yep,” the Doctor grinned.

 

Tuomas looked around the room in awe.

 

“But she doesn’t just travel through space. She also travels through time.”

 

Tuomas’ head snapped back to face the Doctor. 

 

“Did you say time?”


	2. Chapter 2

"Yes," the Doctor replied cheerfully. "Anywhere and any time you want to go, she can take you." 

 

"So ... it could go back in time?" 

 

"Yes," the Doctor said slowly, his smile fading slightly. "Does this interest you?"

 

"Well..." Tuomas began. An idea had come to him as soon as the Doctor had said that the TARDIS traveled in time. A crazy, insane, psychotic idea. “Yeah. It does.”

 

“Any time specifically?” the Doctor asked.

 

Tuomas didn’t respond immediately. This was insane. He was insane. This could never work. But … it was worth a try. He could fix it. He could fix when had started everything going downhill. He could fix one of his greatest regrets.

 

He took a deep breath and recited the date and location he knew all too well. “July 28th, 2000. Roxy, Guadalajara, Mexico.”

 

The Doctor began punching in the coordinates, and the TARDIS launched itself into space.

 

Tuomas cursed and grabbed onto the railing. “Are we … are we flying?”

 

“Yep!” the Doctor grinned. “You’ll get used to it, don’t worry.”

 

There was silence for a few minutes as the Doctor flipped various levers on the console to get them flying smoothly.

 

“So,” the Doctor said, turning to face Tuomas. “What’s so special about this date?”

 

“It’s when I screwed everything up,” Tuomas mumbled.

 

“Care to elaborate?” the Doctor asked gently after he realized that Tuomas wasn’t going to say anything else.

 

Tuomas sighed, and then got a distant look in his eyes. “I fell in love with her the first time I heard her sing. She sounded like an angel. I thought that it was just a crush or an infatuation, and that it would fade when I actually got to know her. But then I fell in love with her for her personality. I never told her. All of the songs I wrote were about her, but she never knew.”

 

“Is she the lead singer of your band?” the Doctor guessed.

 

“Was,” Tuomas corrected, a lump rising in his throat. “I’ll get to that. The date I gave you was one of our concerts. A guy came up on stage and attacked her in the middle of a song. It happened so fast and I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t move. So I just kept playing, and so did the other guys. Our manager and security finally got him off of her and I realized I should have ran forward and tried to protect her while I could have, but it was too late. After the show, I wanted so badly to go to her and comfort her, but I couldn’t face her after I hadn’t stopped playing earlier. I was so ashamed.”

 

He paused and took a shaky breath. “Nothing was the same after that. She started dating someone else and then they got married. He changed her into someone she wasn’t. She became distant to the point where it didn’t even feel like she was in the band anymore. The two of us fought, all of us fought, it was a mess. Finally, after our biggest show to date at Hartwall Arena in 2005, we fired her. Another thing I regret, with an open letter we posted on our website. Some of the fans even knew before she did. I wish that I had handled that differently, but the concert in Mexico is when it all started.”

 

“I know what it’s like to lose someone you love,” the Doctor said quietly. “It happened to me very recently.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” Tuomas said, his eyes meeting those of the Time Lord, and he could see the deep sadness within them.

 

The Doctor smiled slightly. “Thank you. I know that she is happy now. And that’s what is most important to me.”

 

They were silent for a moment, both lost in thought.

 

“Tuomas,” the Doctor finally said, his expression serious. “You know that time travel is extremely dangerous. Anything you do, even if it seems insignificant, can change the future.”

 

Tuomas nodded.

 

“You can’t stop the man from attacking her. If you did that, everyone in the audience would see two of you.”

 

Tuomas sighed. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

 

“However,” the Doctor began slowly. “There could be a way you could go to her after the concert.”

 

“I’ll do anything,” Tuomas said.

 

“You would have to make your way backstage after the past you had already gone. You couldn’t let ANYONE see the two of you together, and you could not, under any circumstances, let your past self see you. And you can’t let … did you say her name?”

 

“Tarja,” her name felt strange on his lips. He couldn’t remember the last time he had said it.

 

“You can’t let Tarja see that you’re older. And you have to come right back to the TARDIS after you’ve comforted her. It will be too risky if you try to stay with her longer.”

 

The TARDIS landed smoothly, and Tuomas and the Doctor stepped out of it onto the street. The sun was setting overhead and there was a slight breeze, but the air was still warm. They were about a block away from a building with people lined up outside of it.

 

“Is this the right place?” The Doctor asked.

 

“Yes,” Tuomas swallowed. “This is it.”


	3. Chapter 3

They stood in the back of the venue, hidden in the shadows so they wouldn't be seen. Tuomas already felt a knot of dread in the pit of his stomach and the concert hadn't even begun yet. 

 

He kept checking his watch. 10 minutes. 

 

8 minutes. 

 

Time could not go any slower. 

 

"You don't have to do this," the Doctor said gently, sensing his anxiety. "We can still go back."

 

"No," Tuomas said firmly, shaking his head. "I ... I have to."

 

The Doctor just nodded and they both stood in silence, waiting for the show to start. 

 

All too soon, the familiar intro of She Is My Sin filled the room. The spotlight shined first on Jukka, and then on Emppu, Marco, and Tuomas. When Tarja came out, the crowd went wild and Tuomas felt his heart clench. She was so, so beautiful. He had almost forgotten the way she had looked back then, with her shoulder length hair and softer face. He closed his eyes as her angelic voice spread through the room. 

 

It was so strange to see them in the past. This is what they had looked like 15 years ago. This is how they had sounded. They had come so far from this, but it was still so special, what they had had. 

 

Tuomas was so wrapped up in these thoughts that over half the concert passed by, and he was jolted back to the problem at hand when Fantasmic began. 

 

The Doctor saw how Tuomas immediately tensed, and knew that this must be the song.

 

For the first part of it, Tuomas just stared straight ahead with his hands in fists. Then, as the song slipped into an instrumental part, he started to tremble. 

 

"No," he whispered. "No. I won't let this happen. Not again." 

 

"Tuomas," the Doctor said, concern in his eyes. 

 

"No," tears filled his eyes now as he stared unflinchingly at the stage. 

 

Although the room was dark, there were lights flashing everywhere, and Tuomas and the Doctor were in the very back, they could both see the figure run onto the left of the stage and pull Tarja to the ground with him. 

 

Tuomas lunged forward, a strangled cry escaping from his throat, but the Doctor grabbed his arm. 

 

"Stop," he said. "You can't do anything yet. You can't fix this."

 

Tuomas took deep breaths to try and calm himself, and put his face in his hands.

 

When he looked up again, the guy was being pulled out of the building by security. 

 

Pain gripped at his heart when he looked up at Tarja. She was still trying to sing even though tears were streaming down her face, and her voice was still so clear and pure.

 

"It's going to be okay," the Doctor said quietly. "I'll be waiting in the Tardis when you're done. Remember, don't let her see your face, don't let your past self see you, and don't leave the dressing room with her."

 

As soon as the show was over, Tuomas pushed his way through the huge crowd, shaking his hair over his face as he did so. 

 

When he finally got to the backstage area, the security guards let him go through without a second glance, obviously thinking that it was the past him they were letting in. 

 

He made his way over to the dressing rooms, his eyes scanning around him, making sure that no one would see him.

 

He could hear Tarja crying before he even got to her room. His heart shattered as he heard her sobs, and he couldn't believe he hadn't gone to her 15 years ago. The comfort would have mattered more than whether or not they had stopped playing. Why couldn't he have seen that? 

 

But he would fix it now. 

 

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. 

 

"Who is it?" came her shaky voice, deepening the crack in his heart. 

 

"It's Tuomas. Can I come in?" 

 

"Yeah."

 

He pushed the door open to find her curled up on the couch with her face hidden in a pillow. 

 

"Oh, Tarja," he said softly. 

 

He walked over to the couch and sat down on the other side. 

 

Without hesitation, she flung herself into his arms. He just held her for a few minutes while she cried. 

 

"I'm-I'm so sorry," she sobbed. 

 

"Why are you sorry?" Tuomas asked, not having the faintest idea what she was talking about. 

 

"I couldn't sing!" she cried. 

 

"Oh, Tari, that's not your fault. You did the best you could. Your voice still sounded beautiful. I'm sorry. We should have stopped playing. I don't know what I was thinking. It all happened so fast. I feel awful about it. We should have ended the concert or at least taken a break."

 

"It's okay," she whispered. "You're here now." 

 

She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. 

 

Tuomas heard murmurs outside and immediately realized what was going on. 

 

"Marcelo, can you stay with her?" Sami's voice. 

 

"You...you want me to stay with her?"

 

"Yes. If you could, that would be great."

 

"Um, okay." 

 

Then there was the sound of footsteps. That was when he had walked away. Tuomas bit his lip, waiting.

 

Seconds later, there was a knock on the door. 

 

"Come in," Tarja said, not lifting her head up. 

 

Marcelo opened the door and did a double take when he saw Tuomas. 

 

"But you were-you were just-I just saw you...you were out in the hall with the guys," he sputtered. 

 

Tuomas smiled calmly. "You must be mistaken. I've been in here the whole time." 

 

"Oh..well...I guess I must have just imagined it. I ... um, do you still need me to stay here, or..."

 

Tuomas shook his head, staring straight into the eyes of the man he despised more than anything in the world. "It's okay. I've got her." 

 

He tightened his arms around Tarja protectively, and Marcelo just nodded and left the room.


	4. Chapter 4

"Tuo," Tarja said a while later, slowly pulling out of his embrace. "Can ... can you come back to my hotel room with me?"

 

She looked up at him, her teary eyes framed with smudged dark stage makeup. It killed him to see her this young. So innocent, and so beautiful. This was right before everything had changed. 

 

"Of course," he replied immediately. He knew he couldn't say no to her, even though he remembered that the Doctor had told him not to leave the dressing room with her. After all, what was he supposed to do? He couldn't let her go back alone; she was still in shock. He needed to be with her. It was a feeling deep inside of him that he couldn't shake. He couldn't bring himself to leave her alone. 

 

"Thanks," she smiled gratefully, but the smile didn't reach her eyes. 

 

He put his arm around her waist and she leaned into him heavily as they walked out of the venue and over to the hotel, which was only a block away. 

 

Once they had gotten inside her room, Tuomas lingered awkwardly in the doorway, unsure if she actually wanted him to stay with her or not. 

 

She walked ahead of him in as if in a trance, and sat down on the bed. Seconds later, she burst into tears and hid her face in her hands. Tuomas was by her side in an instant, putting his arm around her and rubbing her shoulder gently. 

 

"I'm sorry," she choked. "It's just ... I can't believe that really happened to me. I can't ... oh, Tuo, thank god you're here with me. I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here."

 

He swallowed hard. Once, all those years ago, she had been alone. He now saw how absolutely wrong he had been in not going to her. He had been so selfish, trying to protect his pride, avoiding her because he thought she would be upset with him for not stopping the concert. The thought of her lying on the floor, her body racked with sobs, all alone in her hotel room made his heart ache, and he held her tighter. 

 

"It's okay. Let it out. Just let go, Tarja. I've got you. You're alright."

 

A while later, it seemed that she had cried all of her tears and she slipped out of his embrace and into the bathroom to wash her face and change into her pyjamas. 

 

She came out in black sweats, the smeared makeup washed off, and her short hair pulled back into a low ponytail. 

 

To Tuomas, she had never looked more beautiful. 

 

He had known that seeing her again would be difficult, but not to this extent. It reawakened all of the desire and yearning he had had for her that he had always been too scared to act on all those years. He wished with all of his heart that things could have been different. That he could have been the one that held her hand as they walked around cities they were touring in, the one that sat next to her at breakfast, the one that she would come to when she needed help, and the one to hold her in his arms at night. 

 

"Feeling any better?" he asked gently. 

 

"A little, I guess," she replied. She glanced down at the floor and bit her lip.

 

"Can ... can you stay?" she whispered. 

 

"Of course." 

 

Her face relaxed. "Thank you so much, Tuo. This means a lot to me." 

 

She pulled the covers back and climbed into bed, laying on her back with her eyes open. 

 

He hesitantly got in on the other side. He wasn’t sure if she wanted him with her or not, but his fears were washed away seconds later when he felt her curl into his side. 

 

"What if he gets in here?" she asked in a small voice. 

 

"Oh, Tari, he won't," Tuomas wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. "I promise you're safe. The door is locked and I'm here. I wouldn't let him get near you." 

 

She rested her head on his chest and looked up at him. 

 

"You look ... different. Older somehow."

 

He silently thanked god that there was only a dim glow coming through the windows. 

 

"Must be just the light," he said. "You should get some sleep."

 

She nodded and closed her eyes. 

 

He stayed awake for a while, watching her sleep and savoring the feeling of holding her in his arms. He was glad he had fixed this; it made him feel so much better that she now knew that he cared about her. But being with her again had simultaneously healed and ripped open and old wounds. She had the effect she had always had on him- this golden aura of positive energy that never failed to made him smile. But he couldn't stay with her forever. He would have to go back to the present. He wasn't fool enough to think that this interaction would change the future. He would have to go back to not being in touch with her and he would probably never see her again. 

 

Tuomas woke up to the Doctor was saying his name softly but urgently.

 

“Tuomas. Tuomas, wake up now. You have to wake up.”

 

He opened his eyes and saw the Doctor standing next to the bed. 

 

“What are you doing here?” he hissed, briefly looking down at Tarja to make sure she hadn’t woken up as well. The clock read only 4:23. "Actually, how did you even get in here?" 

 

“Sonic," the Doctor said simply, holding up a device that looked like a screwdriver with a blue tip. "You need to get out of here."

 

“Why?”

 

“Don’t ask questions, Tuomas. Just come with me.”

 

Tuomas hesitated.

 

“Now.”

 

He reluctantly pulled his arms from around Tarja and slid a pillow down where he had been lying. Tarja nestled closer to it in her sleep. Tuomas felt burning tears fill his eyes as he grabbed the notepad from the nightstand and scrawled Went back to my room to get ready. He left it out where she would see it and gently kissed the top of her head, trying desperately to keep the tears from falling. This was it. The last time he would see her. 

 

“I will always love you,” he whispered, letting his gaze linger just a bit longer on her sleeping form before following the Doctor out of the room.

 

“What is this about?” he asked when they had closed the door behind them, his words fighting against the lump in his throat.They started walking down the hallway to the elevator. 

 

“Didn’t I tell you that you were not, under any circumstances, supposed to leave the dressing room with her?”

 

Tuomas swallowed. “What was I supposed to do? She was crying and she was in shock. I couldn’t just leave her by herself! That’s what happened before! She was left crying all alone in her hotel room. I couldn’t let that happen again.”

 

“I understand your pain, Tuomas, but this is time we’re talking about. You can’t just do whatever you feel like. Anyway, it wasn’t even the length of time you stayed with her that was the problem.”

 

“What is it, then?”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me that it was her future husband who comforted her in the original version of time?”

 

“I … I didn’t think it was that important.”

 

“It was very important.”

 

“What does … what does that mean?”

 

“It means, Tuomas, that you changed the future.”


	5. Chapter 5

"I ... how? How did I change the future? And how do you know that? How did you know about her husband?"

 

The Doctor sighed. "The Tardis can show me time streams. It's like watching someone's life on a screen." 

 

"And you saw hers?"

 

"Yes," the Doctor said quietly. "And now you are going to watch it too."

 

By this time, they had reached the Tardis. 

 

The Doctor opened the door and led Tuomas inside, motioning for him to sit down in front of a large screen at the console. 

 

"I'll give you some privacy," the Doctor said, and disappeared into another room. 

 

Tuomas looked up at the screen and it came to life, showing the end of what he remembered to be the concert they had had the day after the Guadalajara show.

**********

They took their bows and went backstage, and Tarja kissed him on the cheek as she passed him to go to her dressing room. He stood completely still, staring after her and slowly bringing his hand to where her lips had touched.

 

The time stream continued and showed Tarja and Tuomas spending more and more time together; after concerts, on the tour bus, and in the cities they were playing in.

 

The screen then showed them in his hotel room later on during the Wishmaster tour. He was sorting through papers on the desk, looking for something, and she was standing behind him. 

 

He finally slid out a folded piece of paper, and he seemed to hesitate for a moment before turning around and handing it to her. 

 

"This is the song I was telling you I wrote yesterday," he said quietly. 

 

She smiled and took it from his outstretched hand. 

 

"Ever Dream," she softly read the title. 

 

It was silent for a moment while she read through it, and Tuomas gazed around the room awkwardly as he waited for her to finish. 

 

She looked up at him a moment later, moisture shimmering in her eyes.

 

"It's ... it's beautiful, Tuo."

 

His expression filled with concern when he saw her tears. 

 

"Don't cry, Tari, it's okay," he said gently, reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder. 

 

She leaned into his touch and he carefully wrapped his arms around her. 

 

They stayed in the embrace for a few moments, before she whispered, "Can I ask you something?"

 

"Anything," he replied, releasing her but still letting his hands linger on her arms. 

 

She stared off to the side at the wooden panels lining the walls of the room. 

 

"Tuo ..." her voice was shaking, "is ... is this about me?" 

 

Their eyes met, and then it was his turn to look away. 

 

"Yes," he whispered after a long stretch of silence. "It is.”

 

He looked into her gaze and held it this time. “Every word.”

 

She glanced down at the paper again, her eyes landing on the last lines: All I ever craved were the two dreams I shared with you. One I now have, will the other one ever dream remain. For yours I truly wish to be.

 

“What’s the other dream?” she asked, her trembling voice barely audible.

 

He didn’t respond. Instead, he closed the distance between them, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and leaning down to let his lips meet hers.

 

The kiss was slow and careful, but filled with love. His arms pulled her closer and she reached up to tangle her fingers in his hair.

 

When they finally separated, she looked up at him, her eyes shining with joy. “I love you, Tuo. I have for so long. I never wanted to say anything because I was scared you didn’t feel the same…”

**********

 

Tuomas stood frozen in front of the screen. She loved him back. She loved him back and he had never gotten up the courage to tell her how he felt.

**********

“Oh, Tari, of course I did. I always did,” he breathed, reaching out and pulling her close.

 

They were together for the next two years. They had their ups and downs, but there was a deep bond of love and friendship that kept their relationship alive.

 

They took their bows after the phenomenal last concert of the Century Child Tour; the five of them in front of the huge cheering crowd, their hands joined and joyful smiles on their faces. 

 

When Tarja went backstage, she saw a piece of paper on the table with her name on it. 

 

Frowning, she picked it up and unfolded it.

 

Her hand fluttered to her mouth as she read the beautiful words of love written on the paper in Tuomas’ handwriting. At the end, it said I now have everything I ever dreamed of with you, and I want this dream to continue for the rest of our lives.

 

She looked up from the paper to see Tuomas kneeling in front of her, holding out a ring. 

 

“Tarja,” he said softly, his voice trembling with nervousness. He looked up at her with tear-filled blue eyes. “Will you marry me?”

 

“Yes,” rain spilled down her porcelain cheeks as she leapt forward into his arms. He got up and hugged her, breathing a sigh of relief and holding her tightly to him.

 

Jukka, Emppu, Marco, and the stage crew applauded and whistled from where they had been standing.

 

Tuomas slid the ring onto Tarja’s finger and kissed her as everyone cheered even louder.

**********

Tuomas was only half aware of tears streaming down his face as he watched the scene continue. This could have been his life. 

**********

The next part of the time stream showed a year of their newly wedded bliss. Nightwish gained even more popularity and they toured the world with their new album. After the tour was over, they decided to take a break so everyone could have some time to themselves.

 

Tuomas was sitting on the couch with his well used black leather notebook, scrawling out some ideas for a song when Tarja slowly walked into the room, a strange expression on her face that was a mixture of contained joy and fear. She was clutching something tightly in one of her hands. 

 

Tuomas looked up. "Are you okay?" he asked, concerned. 

 

She took a deep breath, "Tuomas, I ... we ... we're pregnant."

 

He just stared at her in shock for a moment before seeming to register the information and jumping off the couch to fold her into his arms. 

 

"We're ... we're going to have a baby?" he asked incredulously, gently placing a hand over her stomach. "There's a tiny person growing in there?"

 

"Yes," she whispered, her eyes shining. 

 

"Oh my gosh," he murmured, tears of joy filling his eyes. "Oh my gosh, Tarja this is wonderful! We're going to be parents!" 

 

He kissed her soundly and then wrapped his arms around her again. 

 

Over the next few months, Tarja’s middle slowly grew and Tuomas continued to be fascinated by the whole concept, gently caressing her stomach and murmuring words to their unborn child every chance he got. Both of them were happy, happier than they had ever been.

**********

Tuomas smiled as he watched this, but he had a feeling deep inside the pit of his stomach that something wasn't right. 

 

His fears were confirmed when the screen now showed their darkened bedroom with the two of them sleeping, and Tarja crying out in pain.


	6. Chapter 6

"TUOMAS!" she cried, gasping and sitting up to turn on the light. "Oh-oh-oh my god! Tuomas, help, please!"

 

He was wide awake in an instant, turning towards her in alarm. "What is it? Are you okay?" 

 

“NO! NO! Oh, god, please, oh god, Tuomas, I-”

 

“What hurts? Can you tell me what hurts?” he asked frantically.

 

She couldn’t even give him a coherent response; she just struggled trying to sit up more and fell into another episode of clutching her stomach and gasping in pain.

 

“Tarja, please, angel, talk to me. Is it your stomach? Should we go to the hospital?”

 

“Tuomas, it-it’s the baby,” she whispered, tears filling her eyes. “I know it is. But it’s months too early and this-this doesn’t feel right.”

 

Her lip started to tremble and her eyes searched his for some sort of reassurance.

 

“We’re going to the hospital,” he said firmly, and walked around to the other side of the bed and picked her up, causing her to cry out in pain again.

 

“I’m sorry!” he said miserably, trying to run through the house to the garage with her in his arms and comfort her at the same time. “It’s going to be alright, I promise. You’ll be okay.”

 

“Breathe, Tarja. Breathe. I need you to just breathe for me, okay?” he said as they sped down the road moments later.

 

She was gasping and sobbing, her arms around her middle and hunched over in the seat.

 

“It’s going to be fine. You just need to breathe. Don’t panic.”

 

“But, Tuo, the baby,” she sobbed. “It’s too early. It’s four months too early.”

 

He reached for her hand with one of his, keeping the other on the steering wheel. She grasped onto it tightly and continued to cry.

 

"It's gonna be okay," he repeated softly. "I love you. Everything will be fine." 

 

"I-I love you too," she said in a choked whisper. 

 

By the time they got to the hospital, she was full out screaming in pain. 

 

He reached across the seat to hug her once he had parked, desperately trying to soothe her by murmuring words of comfort and stroking her back.

 

"Tuomas," she said shakily as he picked her up to take her inside. "Tuomas, I'm bleeding."

 

She burst into tears again and he tried as best as he could to calm her, but it was of no avail. 

 

When they were admitted to the hospital, Tarja was whisked away and the doctors had to physically force Tuomas to stay in the waiting room. 

 

"I'm sorry, sir, but you cannot be with her at this time. Please stay calm or we will have to ask you to vacate the premises."

 

A crazed look had taken over his face. "No!" he cried, relentlessly pushing against the men holding him back. "I need to be with her! Please, please I need to be with her!"

 

"Calm down,sir," said the same man that had just spoken. "You will be able to see her shortly. Please just stay calm and wait here." 

 

Tuomas sank down into a chair in the waiting room, his head in his hands. 

 

**********

 

"Mr. Holopainen?"

 

Tuomas looked up to see one of the doctors standing next to him. 

 

"Come with me, please." 

 

Almost mechanically, he followed the man into the hallway.

 

“Is she alright?” he demanded immediately when he observed the solemn look on the doctor’s face.

 

“Your wife is fine,” the doctor said, then seemed to hesitate. “I am very sorry, but she had a miscarriage.”

 

“Can I see her?” Tuomas asked softly.

 

The doctor nodded, a sympathetic expression in his eyes as he led Tuomas to one of the hospital rooms.

 

Tarja looked up when she saw Tuomas come in, and he flew to her side, grasping her hands in his and kissing her forehead.

 

“Are you alright?” he asked gently.

 

She just shook her head, tears streaming silently down her face. 

 

“Oh, my love,” he said, putting his arms around her the best he could with her lying in the bed. “It’s alright. It will be alright. I love you and we will get through this. We can try again, okay?”

 

“Okay,” she said in a broken whisper.

 

He stayed kneeling on the floor and holding her, both of them crying and seeking comfort in the other.

 

“They told me I have to stay here tonight,” she said to him when they had both finally pulled out of the embrace. “Don’t leave me … please. I can’t be alone. Please ask them to let you stay.”

 

He nodded. “Of course, my love.”

 

He kissed her gently and hurried out of the room.

 

He returned a few moments later. “I can stay.”

 

She breathed a sigh of relief and scooted over in the bed so there would be room for him. It was a tight fit with both of them in a twin sized bed, but it didn’t matter to them. They just needed each other.

 

She got pregnant again a few months later, but the same thing happened.

 

Except this time, she didn’t shed a single tear afterward.

 

“Tarja,” Tuomas pleaded, holding one of her hands in his as he knelt at her side. “Please look at me.”

 

Her eyes were blank and her expression unchanging.

 

“It’s okay,” he continued, stroking her hand with his thumb. “I love you so much. This isn’t the end. We can always try-”

 

“No,” she interrupted, her voice flat and emotionless. “I can’t do it again. I can’t go through this again.”

 

“Okay,” he said immediately. “Then we won’t. That’s okay with me. We have each other, Tari.”

 

**********

 

In the next few months, Tuomas could barely get her to talk to him, she didn’t sing, and he had to force her to eat. He had asked her once if she would try therapy, and she had just turned away from him. After the first miscarriage, she had been upset, but both of them had still had hope. Now, it was like someone had taken the life out of her.

 

The screen cut to Tarja sitting underneath a large oak tree and Tuomas walking towards her.

 

“ I thought I’d find you here,” he smiled gently, and sat down beside her.

 

“Tarja, I don’t know what to do,” Tuomas said when she didn’t respond. “I really think we should go to therapy. Both of us.”

 

She showed no sign that she had even heard what he said, the vacant look in her eyes remaining unchanged.

 

He sighed. “This-this can’t go on. I love you. I love you more than anything but I can’t get through to you. It’s like you’ve put up this wall around yourself, Tarja. It kills me to see you like this. Please, angel, please…” his voice dropped to a whisper as tears filled his eyes, “come back to me.”

 

“You should just leave me. That would make everything easier.”

 

Tuomas was shocked, both by the fact that she had actually said two complete sentences to him, and by what she had said.

 

“How-how could you say that? Of course I don’t want to leave you!”

 

“I can’t have children, Tuo!”

 

“Oh, sweetheart, you don’t know for-”

 

“No, you don’t understand,” her voice was cold. “I went to the doctor after the second miscarriage. I can’t have children ever.”

 

There was a brief moment of silence and she turned away from him.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me this, love?” he asked softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

 

“I didn’t want you to know,” her voice was thick with held back tears. “I thought that you would leave me, but now it doesn’t matter because you’ll leave me anyway. I-I’m such a mess, Tuo.”

 

“Oh, no, Tari, please don’t say these things,” he put a hand on her arm and she turned to face him, her lip trembling and tears welling up in her green eyes.

 

“I will never, ever leave you, no matter what, okay? I love you. I love you so, so much. If we can’t have children, that’s okay. Of course I wanted to have kids with you, but that’s not the most important thing to me. You are.”

 

Finally the dam broke and she fell forward into his embrace and sobbed hard, her head buried in his T-shirt.

 

He cried too and they just held onto each other tightly for a long time.

 

“I’m sorry I shut you out,” she said, her voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry. It must have been hard for you too.”

 

“It’s alright,” he said tenderly, stroking her hair as she rested her head on his chest. “I’m just so glad to have you back.”

 

The screen went dark.

 

Tuomas turned around to see the Doctor holding the remote, his expression serious.

 

“Now do you see?”

 

Tuomas swallowed. “Yes. I-I do. But … why couldn’t she have children? She had a daughter in the other … the other version of time.”

 

“Different timelines. Different things happen.”

 

“I took that away from her,” Tuomas said, slowly coming to the realization.

 

“I’m sure the damage has gone much further, but we’ve landed now and you’ll find out soon enough. You have to live your life now, Tuomas. Your timeline has been dramatically altered by what you did. I hope you can find happiness.”

 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “Did I really ruin time?”

 

The Doctor sighed heavily. “Like I said, I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.”


	7. Chapter 7

Tuomas stood on the porch for 5 minutes, an internal debate raging in his mind about whether or not to go inside, before he finally opened the door to his house. 

 

His breath caught in his throat when he saw Tarja lying on the black leather couch in his front room, her long hair hanging loosely around her face, glasses perched on her nose, and her brows knit in concentration at the book she was reading. 

 

She looked up when she heard the door open and smiled, the smile that pulled up her cheekbones that Tuomas had always found adorable.

 

"How was your walk?" she inquired. 

 

"It was ... it was good," he stammered. 

 

"Are you okay?" she asked him, sitting up. 

 

He was speechless for a moment, just taking in the sight of her. It was so surreal to see her in his house, like she was an illusion that would disappear if he looked away. 

 

"Yes, I'm fine," he replied, walking over to her. "Just tired, I guess." 

 

“Aren’t we all,” she stated with a slight laugh.

 

He just nodded, not able to take his eyes off of her. 

 

"Well," she said, taking off her glasses and folding them up, "it is late. We could just go to bed, if you want." 

 

"Sure," he replied. "That's fine." 

 

He followed her down the hallway and to the bedroom. 

 

It looked similar to the room he had had before- the same dark decorations and bedspread, but now he saw a collection of her Paul Coelho books and classical CDs on the shelves; black sweaters and pairs of her jeans on the floor that had never quite made their way into the hamper; bottles of her perfume, lotion, and makeup on the bathroom counter. 

 

Tuomas felt his heart swell when he saw these touches of her, a reminder that they really were together. 

 

He stepped inside the bathroom, where she was already brushing her teeth. She caught his eye in the mirror and smiled. He smiled back and pulled his toothbrush from the cup and put toothpaste on it with shaking hands. When he stood up again and began to brush his teeth, she leaned her head against his shoulder. He looked at their reflection in the mirror above the sink and he couldn’t keep another smile from making its way across his face.

 

After they had finished brushing their teeth, they went back into the bedroom to change into their pajamas. 

 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you that the finalized version of our Christmas tour schedule came in the mail today,” she told him.

 

“Oh, okay,” he said.

 

“We can look at it tomorrow,” she shrugged. “And don’t forget, we have rehearsal in the morning.”

 

“Right.”

 

He couldn’t help but stare at her while she pulled her shirt off, revealing her black lacy bra and smooth, milk white skin.

 

“Don’t stare, it’s not polite,” she teased after she had finished getting into her pajamas, kissing him on the cheek and climbing into bed.

 

He felt his face heat up, and quickly finished getting changed before getting in next to her and turning off the light. There was still a soft glow in the room from the moon that shone through the window.

 

He put his arms around her and she snuggled close to him, their faces inches apart.

 

“I love you,” he whispered.

 

“I love you too.”

 

She smiled at him before closing her eyes.

 

Just like he had only a day before in Guadalajara, he stayed awake watching her sleep and memorizing every inch of her face. There were now fine lines around her eyes and her features were more angular, but she was still his Tarja, the friend of a friend he had asked to be in his band so many years ago, staring at the ground and tripping over his words, completely mesmerized by her beauty. 

 

**********

She was standing in a deserted village, snow falling softly all around her. There was no one else around and there were no lights on. The houses were all circled around a large building in the middle of what looked like a town square. 

 

And there was a piano melody coming from inside, repeating itself over and over, echoing through the empty streets. It sounded distantly familiar somehow, but she couldn't think of a time when she had ever heard of it before. 

 

She shivered against the cold and wrapped her arms around herself. 

 

She decided to go into the building, figuring that someone had to be playing the piano inside. 

 

So she walked up the snowy path and carefully pushed open the door. 

 

She was in a sleek black hallway lit with candles. The piano tune was amplified now, and she followed the sound down the hallway into another room. 

 

Tuomas, Emppu, Marco, and Jukka were all there. They were wearing suits and their hair was styled away from their faces, a large contrast to their usual grunge metal look.

 

The melody was coming from Tuomas playing the piano. She could now hear the other parts of it, Jukka's soft cymbal taps on the drum, and the plucking of strings on Marco's upright bass and Emppu's guitar. 

 

There was a woman in a long, glittering scarlet dress sprawled across the piano. 

 

She took the microphone that was hanging from the ceiling and began to sing in a soft, crooning voice. 

 

"Tuomas," Tarja said. "What's going on?"

 

He didn't acknowledge her. 

 

She walked over to the piano and touched his shoulder. 

 

"Tuomas."

 

He didn't even blink. His eyes were trained straight ahead. 

 

"Tuomas, can you hear me?" she was panicking now. "Tuo, please say something." 

 

"Slow, love, slow, only the weak are not lonely," the woman sang. 

 

"Tuo, answer me!" she cried, shaking his shoulder helplessly. 

 

"What-what's happening? Can somebody please help me?"

 

She sank down to the floor and put her face in her hands. 

 

When she looked up again, she was among the audience at a concert. A Nightwish concert. There was a different singer again; this time she was extremely tall and muscular, and was wearing a black leather top, cutoff shorts, and tall boots. Tarja recognized her as Floor Jansen, the lead singer of ReVamp.

 

She was singing Nemo and the crowd was going wild. 

 

"What's going on?" Tarja whispered softly. 

 

“What’s going on?” Floor repeated into the microphone, her voice almost taunting. “You’re seeing your life as it could have been.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Floor threw her head back and laughed, the sound echoing through the room. “Let’s backtrack a little.”

 

The scene in front of her shifted; she was now seeing the Guadalajara concert when she had been attacked on stage. Except it wasn’t Tuomas who comforted her in her dressing room, it was the man who had been their tour manager at the time- she couldn’t even remember his name. Then she saw herself curled up in a ball on the floor of a hotel room alone, her body heaving with sobs.

 

She now found herself sitting in a pew of a large, elaborately decorated church watching herself standing in front the altar in a long white dress, hand in hand with the tour manager.

 

“No,” she whispered. “This can’t be right. Why would I marry him? I love Tuomas. I don’t want my life to be any other way than it is now. I love him. I want this to stop!"

 

Then she was watching their Helsinki show, what had been their biggest concert to date on October 21st, 2005. Something was off from how she remembered it, but she couldn’t identify what it was. She went backstage after the concert was over and saw Tuomas hand her a folded up piece of paper, telling her to read it the next day. 

 

And then she was in a bedroom she had never seen before, reading the letter that Tuomas had given her and watching herself cry as she read it.

 

Tarja’s head was spinning. They had kicked her out of the band. She couldn’t imagine life without Nightwish and her four best friends. Why did she have to see this version of her life? What did it mean?

 

Then she saw herself writing songs and recording them, and then performing them onstage in front of huge crowds of people. She hadn’t even known that she had the ability to write songs; it was something she had never thought about. She realized that she liked the version of herself that she was seeing. Someone strong and independent. 

 

What she saw next caused a lump to form in her throat. She was standing next to a hospital bed, watching herself lying there, face flushed and hair damp with sweat, holding a baby in her arms.

 

The baby was screaming loudly, its tiny face scrunched up and its legs squirming. But it was the most precious thing she had ever seen.

 

She reached out and brushed her hand along its forehead, closing her eyes at the feeling of the baby’s soft skin.

 

“Naomi,” the Tarja in bed whispered. “Her name is Naomi.”

 

She started to sob uncontrollably. She couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing, and a million different emotions were rushing through her at once. Did she want this life or the one she had? Was it wrong to want this one? She loved the life she had with Tuomas. She had accepted the fact that she could never had a child, but seeing this made the feeling as raw as the day when she had gone to the doctor and found out.

 

The next thing she knew, Tuomas was shaking her gently. “Honey, wake up. It’s okay. It’s just a dream.”

 

She looked up into his concerned eyes and realized that she really had been crying.

 

“Are you alright?”

 

“I’m- I’m fine. I just had this dream and it was like I was seeing an alternate version of my life. I didn’t marry you, I married our tour manager. Do you remember that guy? He was from Chile or something.”

 

“Argentina,” Tuomas cut in abruptly, then bit his lip. “Yeah, I remember him.”

 

“Well, anyway, I married him and you guys kicked me out of the band and I started my own career and I…”

 

“You what?” he asked gently, touching her arm.

 

Fresh tears filled her eyes. “I had a baby. The most precious little baby and I named her Naomi. I saw all of this. It was the strangest thing. You guys had other singers, too. Oh, and there was this one song that you guys did.”

 

She hummed it and didn’t notice Tuomas’ expression changing to one of pure disbelief.

 

“Do you recognize it?”

 

Tuomas shook his head quickly.

 

Tarja shrugged. “It sounded so familiar to me. It was weird, the songs I did on my own sounded familiar too.”

 

“Dreams are funny that way,” he said.

 

“Yes, I suppose so,” she said wistfully.

 

“Just go back to sleep now,” he told her, gently stroking her hair.

 

She nodded and put her head on his chest, closing her eyes and falling asleep within seconds.

 

Tuomas, however, stayed awake for the rest of the night, going over and over what she had told him and what it might mean.


	8. Chapter 8

Tuomas awoke to honey colored light filtering through the window, and was disoriented momentarily when he felt the warmth of another body next to his. Then he remembered what had happened, and happiness washed over him as he glanced down at the peaceful sleeping face of his love. His smile faded when the memories of her dream came back to him, and he sighed. He needed to speak to the Doctor somehow, to ask him about this. He didn’t know much about time travel, but it didn’t sound good. Maybe her timelines were overlapping and then all of time would collapse. And it would be his fault.

 

He carefully slid out of bed and went to make breakfast.

 

Tarja come out to the kitchen a while later, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

 

“Good morning, beautiful,” he smiled. “Are you hungry?”

 

She nodded and sat down. He plated the sausage and eggs and poured two cups of coffee.

 

They ate in silence, the only sound in the room being the clinking of silverware on the plates.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked, noticing the distant look in her eyes.

 

She looked over at him.

 

He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling awkward. “I mean, after the, um, dream you had last night.”

 

She looked down at her food. “I can’t stop thinking about it,” she admitted.

 

He didn’t know how to respond, so he just sat quietly and waited to see if she would continue.

 

“This is going to sound insane,” she began, “but it felt so real, like everything that I saw really happened to me.”

 

Tuomas swallowed. This was not good.

 

“Dreams … dreams can feel real sometimes, Tari,” he said gently.

 

She sighed impatiently. “I know, and I’ve had those before, but this was different.”

 

She shook her head. “Never mind, we need to get ready to go."

 

“Go?” he asked, and then immediately regretted it, realizing how stupid it sounded. He had to pretend like he knew what was going on if he didn’t want her to get suspicious.

 

“To rehearsal,” she said slowly. “Maybe I should be asking if you’re okay!”

 

He laughed nervously, and then followed her back to the bedroom to get dressed.

 

While she was in the shower, he wandered around the house, looking at all of the pictures they had put up of them two together and the whole band. Awards for their albums- they had done three new albums he had never heard of. 

 

And then he saw something that made him stop dead in his tracks. 

 

There was a framed picture of Jukka, wearing his traditional bandana, earrings, and sunglasses, that said "Jukka Nevalainen. 21 April 1978- 14 November 2010. May he rest in peace." 

 

Tuomas stood stock still, his body paralyzed with shock. Jukka. The friend he had known since the earliest days of the band back in Kittee. In the original version of time, Jukka had been taking a break from Nightwish because of his insomnia, but they had still kept in touch. What if he had died from something stress related?

 

Tuomas dropped his gaze to the floor. What had he done? 

 

He went back to the bedroom and slid his phone off the nightstand, quickly typing Jukka's name into google. Tuomas' brow furrowed when he saw what the cause of death was. Ebola. 

 

He knew that Ebola was a big problem in Africa, and that there had been a brief scare a while back when someone had it in the United States. Everyone had feared that it would spread, but the cases in the US were taken care of and the virus had been contained to Africa. 

 

A sick feeling came over him when he realized that maybe that was what he had changed. With trembling fingers, he tapped the link to take him to another page about the Ebola virus.

 

Ebola virus disease (EVD; also Ebola hemorrhagic fever, or EHF), or simply Ebola, is a viral hemorrhagic fever of humans and other primates caused by ebolaviruses. Signs and symptoms typically start between two days and three weeks after contracting the virus with a fever, sore throat, muscular pain, and headaches. Then, vomiting, diarrhea and rash usually follow, along with decreased function of the liver and kidneys. At this time some people begin to bleed both internally and externally. The disease has a high risk of death, killing between 25 and 90 percent of those infected, with an average of about 50 percent. This is often due to low blood pressure from fluid loss, and typically follows six to sixteen days after symptoms appear.

 

The article went on to discuss how the disease was transmitted.

 

He scrolled down to the section about outbreaks.

 

The disease was first identified in 1976 in two simultaneous outbreaks, one in Nzara, and the other in Yambuku, a village near the Ebola River from which the disease takes its name. It was mainly concentrated in regions of sub-Saharan Africa at first, and then spread to West Africa. In 2006, the first case was reported in the United States. From there, the disease became unstoppable, spreading rampantly from the U.S. to Canada and Mexico, and then to Europe before any sort of quarantine could be established. The virus is now present on every single continent. There have been a total of 20 million cases and 14.5 million deaths. Researchers and scientists have been working on a vaccine for over 20 years, but none of them have been able to keep up with the almost constantly mutating virus.

 

“No,” Tuomas said softly. “No, this isn’t right. I have to fix this. I have to find some way to-”

 

“Tuo, are you okay?” Tarja asked.

 

He looked up to see her standing in front of him, wearing a black sweater and jeans, her hair wet from the shower, light makeup around her eyes, and a concerned expression on her face.

 

"I-I'm fine," he said hastily. 

 

"What were you saying?" she asked gently. 

 

"I ... I just ... it was nothing. We need to go. Rehearsal, right?" 

 

She frowned. “Um, yeah. Let’s go. We’re late.”

 

She shook her head and started walking out to the garage, Tuomas following her.

 

**********

 

“There you are!” Marco said when they walked inside the door to the studio.

 

“Better late than never,” Tarja said, hanging up her coat on a hook. 

 

Tuomas did the same and sat down at the keyboard, sorting through the music in front of him. It felt good to be doing something familiar.

 

A soft smile made its way across his face as he saw Emppu tuning his guitar and Marco taking a swig of beer. Kai sat behind the drum set. It was almost the same as it had been in the original version of time, but he could sense an emptiness where Jukka should have been. 

 

They rehearsed for a while, going through the existing songs for their new album. They had a sound Tuomas wasn’t used to; it was much more sophisticated than Once, but nothing like Imaginaerum and Endless Forms had been.

 

The tension between him and Tarja was heavy in the air on the car ride home.

 

“Tuomas,” she broke the silence quietly after almost 20 minutes of neither one of them speaking. “Do you want to tell me what was going on with you earlier?”

 

He sighed. Oh, certainly. You see, I’m actually from another version of time. I really hated myself for the way I had treated you at one of our concerts, so I decided to go back in time with a blue box and an alien and fix it. Only by doing that, I made it so you couldn’t have children, killed one of our best friends, and wiped out a good part of the world’s population. Anything else you’d like to know?

 

“Tarja … please just let it go. It doesn’t matter.”

 

“You seemed really upset.”

 

His grip tightened on the steering wheel. What was he supposed to tell her? She would think he was insane and would kick him out onto the streets.

 

“I … I was just thinking about Jukka. He died almost 5 years ago now…” tears thickened his voice as he trailed off.

 

“Oh, Tuomas,” she gently placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pressed you-”

 

“No, it’s fine,” he shook his head, giving her a small smile.

 

She returned it and they drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence.

 

When they got home, Tarja immediately went to the sink to wash her hands and Tuomas opened the refrigerator to get out ingredients for dinner.

 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Tarja shrieked, grabbing his arms and pulling him roughly away from the fridge.

 

He stumbled backwards in shock. “What-what’s wrong? I just was getting out stuff for dinner. Is that not-”

 

Her eyes widened and her voice reached a higher pitch. “Are you INSANE? These are our only food rations for the week, you know that! How could you be so careless as to touch them without washing your hands first?”

 

Realization dawned on him and he was struck, as if by a lightning bolt, that everything was much, much worse than he had originally thought. “Oh my god, Tarja, I’m sorry, oh god. I didn’t touch anything, I swear. I just forgot. I-”

 

“Never mind,” she muttered, and brushed past him to open the cabinet and pull out some sort of antibacterial liquid. She sprayed it on the handle of the fridge and then wiped it with a paper towel.

 

He washed his hands and then they both got ingredients ready for a salad. The stony cold silence was back, settling like thick fog between them.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again when they sat down.

 

She violently stabbed a piece of lettuce with her fork. “Forget it.”

 

“No, really, Tarja. I mean it. I wasn’t paying attention and I almost ruined our food. I … I’ll be more careful.”

 

She fixed him with a sharp glare. “I said forget it, okay?”

 

He helplessly tore his eyes away from her steel gaze and went back to eating his salad.

 

**********

 

That night when he went to bed, Tarja had already turned out the light and she was lying at the very edge of her side of the bed, her body turned towards the wall.

 

He had really upset her.

 

She opened her eyes and turned her head towards him as he walked closer to the bed.

 

He stopped and stood still when he saw her.

 

“Do you … do you want me to sleep on the couch?”

 

“I don’t care, Tuomas,” she said quietly.

 

He felt tears building in his eyes, but he pushed them back as best as he could and took the pillow from his side of the bed and made his way out towards the living room.

 

He barely slept all night. He kept turning the events of the day over and over in his head. How had things gotten so wrong between them? She was the love of his life, he knew she was. This life was all he had ever wanted.

 

Tuomas got the feeling that she sensed that he was keeping something from her, because of how he had probably been acting different than she was used to. But he couldn’t tell her what he had done. What good would it do? She wouldn’t believe him and there was nothing they could do to fix it. 

 

**********

 

The next morning, he went to the kitchen and made breakfast, expecting her to come out and eat. It was 9:00, only ten minutes before they had left for rehearsal the day before. He frowned. Maybe she had already left? He checked the garage and the car was there. He checked the bedroom, but the bed was empty.

 

“Tarja?” he said hesitantly. “Tarja? Are you here?”

 

His voice was met by silence.

 

He sighed and walked back to the kitchen, then stopped when he saw footprints in the snow leading away from the door.

 

He hurried back to the bedroom to put on his coat and boots, and then followed the footprints through the backyard and into the woods until he came to a clearing with a snow covered oak tree, which he recognized as the place he had seen in the time stream. Tarja was leaning against the trunk, her eyes closed.

 

He carefully sat down next to her, and she opened her eyes slowly, looking over at him.

 

“Hello,” she said, her voice not betraying if she was still upset with him.

 

He could tell that she hadn’t slept well either from the dark circles under her eyes that even her makeup couldn’t hide. 

 

“Tarja,” he said softly, daring to touch her arm. “I’m really, really sorry.”

 

“Tuomas,” she sighed. “I don’t want your apologies. I want you to tell me what’s really going on.”


	9. Chapter 9

He swallowed, putting his hand back in his lap. “What do you mean?”

 

She gave him an exasperated look. “I mean that ever since you came home from that walk, you haven’t been acting like yourself. You act weird around me, you forgot we had rehearsal, you were talking to yourself, you forgot to wash your hands, and you acted REALLY weird when I told you about the dream I had. You can’t deny this, Tuomas. Please just talk to me. You know you can tell me anything.”

 

“Tarja, I- I just … it won’t help anything.”

 

“Please,” she said, her voice softening. “Tuo … even if it really won’t help, I want to know. I’m sorry for the way I acted toward you yesterday. At this point in time, we need each other more than ever. The world … it- it’s falling apart around us! If we don’t have each other, then what more do we have to hold onto?”

 

He could hear the tears threatening to overtake her voice, and that broke him.

 

“It’s my fault,” he said.

 

“What?”

 

“The epidemic,” he said quietly.

 

“Tuomas, don’t be ridiculous! You know there’s no possible way that could be true.”

 

“But there is,” he replied.

 

She opened her mouth to reply, but the grave look on his face stopped her.

 

“Just hear me out, okay?”

 

She nodded.

 

He took a deep breath. “First of all, I should probably tell you that … that the reason I’ve been acting so strangely is that I’m not the person you married.”

 

“Tuomas, are you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe we should take you to a doctor, if there are any available.”

 

“Tarja, you asked me why I was acting so weird.”

 

“RIght, I did, but you’re actually expecting me to believe that you’re not my husband? If you’re not, you made a pretty good disguise.”

 

He sighed. “You know the dream you had?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And how you said it felt real, like what you dreamed about had actually happened to you?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well, it did happen.”

 

She looked into his eyes, and he could tell a part of her wanted to believe him now.

 

He sighed. “I’m going to tell you the whole story. If you believe me, then we might … we might have some sort of a chance at fixing this. If not, well, you’ll probably think I’m insane and throw me out of the house, but I think you deserve to know the truth.”

 

“The dream you had was of the original version of time,” he continued. “The version of your life that was supposed to happen before I screwed everything up.”

 

He took a deep breath and began to tell the story.

 

“It was the 10 year anniversary of when I had fired you from Nightwish, and I was going over and over in my head all the things that I had done wrong while you were still in the band. Even though I had been in love with you the whole time, I never really showed you I cared. I didn’t treat you well at all, and the thing that I regretted the most was that concert in Guadalajara on our Wishmaster tour. That guy attacked you and we didn’t even stop playing. And afterwards, I didn’t go to you and you were alone. I couldn’t stand the thoughts I was having anymore so I went out for a walk. That was when I met the Doctor, a time traveling alien. He took me back in time to the concert, and I went and comforted you. But because in the original version of time, Marcelo was supposed to be the one to comfort you, I completely messed up time and created an alternate universe where Ebola took over the world and you couldn’t have children.”

 

“So … you were the one to comfort me, and-and hold me that night?” she asked softly after a few beats of silence.

 

“Yes,” he replied quietly.

 

Tears filled her eyes. “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “I don’t understand anything.”

 

She put her head in her hands and Tuomas felt his heart clench at seeing her so upset.

 

“Tarja,” he said softly, and her shoulders started to shake as she sobbed. 

 

“What- what’s going on, Tuo?” she looked down at him with tears streaming down her cheeks. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re not my husband? That I don’t know you at all?”

 

He cringed slightly at her words. “It-it’s not exactly like that, Tari. No, I’m not the same person that you married, but I’m still … I’m still me. I’m still the man who fell in love with you all those years ago, I’m just from a universe where we were never together.”

 

“But-but that doesn’t make sense!” she cried. “What happened to my Tuomas? The one I married? He couldn’t have just disappeared!”

 

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not exactly sure. You’d have to ask the Doctor about that; he could probably tell you.”

 

She nodded, and silence hung in the air for a moment.

 

“This … this is just all so confusing. You’re still … you,” she reached out to cup his cheek with her hand.

 

“Yes,” he whispered. “I’m still me. I’m sorry, Tarja. I’m sorry this had to happen. I understand if you … if you don’t want me anymore. I’ll go. I don’t deserve you, I never have. I never treated you well and then I messed up all of time when I went back and tried to fix things.”

 

“You … you screwed up the whole universe trying to go back in time to comfort me,” she said, a giggle suppressed behind her lips.

 

“Yeah,” a laugh escaped him. “I guess I did.”

 

They both fell into a fit of laughter that was only ended when Tarja clapped a hand over her mouth.

 

“Oh my god, Tuo! Rehearsal!”

 

They both laughed even harder and ran all the way through the woods and the yard to the house.

 

**********

No one really felt like actually rehearsing the songs that day, so the guys just jammed on their instruments for a while and then they all just talked.

 

Emppu started plucking out an acoustic version of Ever Dream on the guitar, and Marco soon joined in.

 

“May I have this dance?” Tuomas stood up and held his hand out to Tarja.

 

“Of course,” she smiled.

 

He put his arms around her waist and she rested her head on his chest. He reached one hand up to gently stroke her hair, and she closed her eyes.

 

“Awww,” Emppu cooed.

 

“Our two lovebirds,” Marco said fondly.

 

Tuomas just smiled and pulled her closer.

 

They slipped into their own world where it was just the two of them and there were no problems with disease outbreaks or time. Even with everything going on around them, everything that had gone wrong, Tuomas was convinced that nothing had ever felt more right than this moment. Even if this was an alternate universe where the world was doomed, he knew that she was the one, the only one he was meant to be with.

 

**********

 

That night, Tuomas was hesitant getting into bed; he wasn’t sure if it would be weird for her, knowing that he wasn’t the person she had actually married, but she didn’t seem bothered at all.

 

She curled up close to him, and he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding.

 

“Tuo,” she whispered. “What are we going to do?”

 

“We have to find the Doctor,” he replied. “I don’t know how, but somehow we need to find him. He’ll know what to do. We have to fix this.”

 

He felt her nod against his chest.

 

“I don’t even know how to start looking for him,” Tuomas said. “He has a spaceship that looks like a blue police box, but it can travel anywhere in time and space. He could be long gone by now.”

 

“But he knows something’s wrong with the universe now, doesn’t he?” Tarja asked. “Don’t you think he might be waiting for you to come try and fix it?”

 

“Maybe,” he said thoughtfully. “You know what? I bet if that were the case, he would be waiting right where I found him originally. We can look tomorrow.”

 

“Okay,” she whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

Tuomas woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of choked sobs, and got out of bed to see Tarja sitting on the floor with her knees pulled up to her chest, a scrapbook open in front of her.

 

He immediately realized what she was looking at. Pictures of her life with her Tuomas. And he felt his heart break when he realized that he could never replace him. That her heart would always lie with the other version of him.

 

He tried to get back into bed without her noticing that he was awake, but she had already looked over and seen him.

 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. I’m being silly. I just can’t … I can’t believe he’s gone.”

 

She broke off into sobs and Tuomas felt pain grip his heart at seeing her cry.

 

“Oh, Tari,” he whispered, sitting down next to her but not daring to put his arms around her, fearing that it would only make it worse. “I’m so sorry.”

 

She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. I’m just so confused! You’re him! You talk like him and act like him and you’re the same person but you’re not! You don’t have the same memories! I don’t know what to think or feel…”

 

“I do … know some of what happened. The Doctor showed me your time stream. I saw the important parts of our life. I know that I can never replace him, Tarja. And I’m so, so sorry because it is my fault. I messed everything up by going back in time. But if I hadn’t, this never would have existed.”

 

“Was I happy?” she asked softly, looking over at him. “Do you think I was happy in that other universe?”

 

He sighed. “I don’t know, Tari. It’s hard to say. I mean, you seemed happy for the most part…” he trailed off and a blush colored his cheeks.

 

“What?” she asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

 

“I-I would sometimes watch videos of your concerts and look at your posts on social media. I … I couldn’t let you go. You always held my heart. And like I said, you seemed happy. You loved being on your own, and you loved your daughter so, so much. But sometimes it seemed like … I don’t know. It just seemed like you were tired. Not just like you weren’t sleeping enough. But it looked like you were exhausted and worn out. I could have just been imagining it, but … I often wondered if Marcelo was really the right one for you. I mean, he changed you, Tari. You were never the same after you met him, and you became distant from us. That’s why we fired you. It just wasn’t working out with us anymore.”

 

“I see,” she said quietly. She hesitated for a moment before adding, “And did we … did we ever communicate at all? After you fired me?”

 

He shook his head. “Never.”

 

They sat in silence for a moment.

 

“Tuo?” she whispered. 

 

“Yes, angel?”

 

“Do … do you think I could write my own songs?”

 

“Of course. You did, didn’t you?”

 

“No, I know, but that was … her. Do you think I could do it?”

 

He smiled. “Yes, I do. Do you want to? I could help you. I think we still need a couple of tracks for this album. If you wanted to, you could help me write them.”

 

Her eyes lit up. “Really?”

 

“Of course, Tari.”

 

She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. His heart clenched as he gazed down at her. Was this version of time really right? He could tell that she envied her life in the dream; she had been independent and- she had said it herself in one of her interviews shortly after her dismissal- free. And she could never have children! He could tell that Naomi was her most precious treasure in the world and the light of her life. He had taken that all away from her.

 

“Tuomas,” her soft voice brought him back to reality and out of his spinning thoughts.

 

“I want you to know that I don’t blame you. You had no idea that this would happen. And I wouldn’t have chosen the other life if I was given the choice, you know.”

 

“Why not?” he whispered, avoiding her eyes.

 

She reached up and cupped his face with her hands, stroking his cheeks tenderly. “Because I wouldn’t have you.”

 

She touched her lips to his, and he was too shocked to respond; the sensation of kissing her was completely new for him.

 

She pulled away, her eyes searching his. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I … I’ve never done that before,” he said softly. “I’ve never kissed an angel.”

 

“Do you want me to teach you how?” she whispered.

 

He swallowed hard, his throat suddenly dry. “Yes. Yes, please.”

 

She kissed him gently at first, threading her fingers through his hair. He placed his hands on her hips and returned the kiss carefully, afraid he wouldn’t do it right.

 

“You’re doing great,” she whispered in his ear, making a shiver run down his spine.

 

He gained more confidence, and when her mouth met his again, he gently parted her lips with his tongue. She moaned into his mouth as their tongues entwined and their kiss became more passionate. 

 

He broke the kiss after a few moments and started to move his lips down her neck, sucking and biting at her soft skin.

 

He heard her gasp, and he smiled, leaning up to kiss her again, but she stopped him.

 

He looked at her questioningly, wondering whether he had done something wrong.

 

She stood up and slipped her shirt off, then unclasped her lacy black bra, letting it fall to the floor.

 

All he could do was stare as she took off the rest of her clothes, revealing her beautiful skin that reflected the glow of the moon. 

 

“I think you're wearing too many clothes,” she whispered, leaning down and slipping off his t-shirt. 

 

He let her undress him, shivering as her soft hands caressed his bare skin. She then kissed him fiercely and pulled him down on top of her onto the bed. 

 

He broke the kiss and gently stroked a piece of hair out of her face, taking a moment to appreciate her beauty- her tangled hair, flushed cheeks, and swollen lips. 

 

“What is it?” she whispered.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said softly, and held her gaze for a moment before leaning down to kiss her again.

 

He made love to her slowly, tenderly, exploring every inch of her body. He whispered his love for her over and over while she shuddered with pleasure underneath him.

 

Afterward, he planted gentle kisses on her face as she lay in his arms, both of them still breathing hard.

 

“I love you, Tuo,” she said, her voice shaking as tears filled her eyes.

 

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, my love,” he whispered, pulling her closer to him.

 

She clung to him tightly, his words only causing her unshed tears to fall. “Tuomas, if we find the Doctor and we’re able to fix this, won’t that mean we’ll have to return to the original version of time?”

 

“I don’t know, Tari. There’s no way of knowing right now. We’ll just have to wait and see.”

 

“I don’t want to lose you,” she sobbed into his chest. “I can’t lose you.”

 

“Ssh, ssh, love,” he stroked her back and kissed her hair. “Everything will turn out okay. Just go to sleep now, alright?”

 

He felt her nod against his chest and he pulled the blanket up over them.

 

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

 

“Goodnight.”


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning, they showered, got ready, and ate breakfast in silence.

 

When they were getting their coats on, he put his hand on her arm. 

 

“It’s going to be alright, okay?” he said.

 

She nodded, and he pulled her into a tight hug before they stepped outside into the crisp morning air.

 

“So, do you remember where it was?” she asked as they walked hand in hand down the street.

 

“Yes … vaguely,” he replied, running the hand that wasn’t holding hers through his hair. “I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going.”

 

“Do you know you how you got there?”

 

“Um, no. Not really. I just know that there were trees near it. Like, tall trees.”

 

“How the hell are we supposed to find it then?” she cried.

 

“Relax, Tari. I’m sure we’ll find it in no time.”

 

But after three hours of walking all around the neighborhood, there was no sign of a blue police box and Tuomas didn’t recognize any area they had been in as the one where he had met the Doctor. 

 

They sat down on a bench and he sighed heavily, putting his face in his hands. She rubbed his back gently.

 

“It’s okay, Tuomas,” she said. “We’ll find it eventually.”

 

“It’s not okay! Every minute that we wait, every minute that we can’t find the Doctor, someone else dies from this disease and don’t say it’s not my fault because it is! It is completely my fault and I need to fix it!”

 

She put her arms around him and he rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes.

 

“Tuomas,” she said after a few moments, shaking him gently. “Look.”

 

He lifted his head and saw a familiar figure in a pinstriped suit walking towards them, the TARDIS a block behind him.

 

They both stood up as he came nearer.

 

“Hello,” the Doctor said, his hands in his pockets and a serious expression on his face.

 

“Hello,” Tuomas replied. “This is Tarja. Tarja, this is the Doctor.”

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” she held out her hand and he shook it. 

 

“You as well. Now, how can I help you?” he asked.

 

Tarja and Tuomas exchanged a glance, and then Tuomas took a deep breath.

 

“We want to fix this.”

 

The Doctor nodded slowly. “Come with me then.”

 

They followed him to the TARDIS.

 

“Oh and by the way,” Tuomas said to Tarja as they neared it. “It’s bigger on the inside.”

 

She looked at him in confusion.

 

“You’ll see.”

 

When they entered it, her eyes widened and she immediately ran back outside.

 

The Doctor smiled. “Never gets old.”

 

Tuomas returned the smile.

 

“You love her, don’t you?” the Doctor asked, his face turning serious once more.

 

“More than anything,” Tuomas replied quietly.

 

“Have you explained everything to her?”

 

“Most of it. She had a couple of questions that I couldn’t answer, though.”

 

Just then, Tarja walked back inside.

 

“I don’t get it,” she said, her eyes darting around the room as if looking for the clue that would show her that it was all an illusion. “This is impossible.”

 

“Just don’t question it. love,” Tuomas smiled, and put his arm around her.

 

“Was there something you wanted to ask me?” the Doctor said, turning to her.

 

She glanced at Tuomas, who nodded at her encouragingly.

 

“Where did the version of Tuomas go who was in … my universe?”

 

The Doctor sighed. “Tarja, time is complicated. Very, very complicated. When you throw alternate universes into the mix, it becomes even more so. The best way to explain it would probably be to say that time has ways of … fixing itself. One universe couldn’t hold both versions of him; it would implode, so time made a correction.”

 

She nodded slowly, thinking it over.

 

“Why did I have a dream about the original version of time?”

 

“It was just a side effect of the universes shifting. Time isn’t always clean and tidy. There are ripples and side effects and bits that get left over.”

 

“And … and how do we fix this? Is there anything we can do?”

 

The Doctor put his hands in his pockets and walked over to the center of the room to lean against the console and face them.

 

“Yes, there is a way. It’s dangerous; it could unravel all of time … not that it could be any worse than what’s already happened. We’re going to have to be careful. And you’re probably not going to like it.”

 

“What is it?” Tuomas asked.

 

“There are basically two different ways of messing with time. Way one is that whatever you try to change has actually always happened. For example, if a ball were to bounce across the room right now, we’d all be sitting here thinking ‘huh, that’s weird’ and then the TARDIS would have a glitch and put us back in time one minute and a ball would appear and we would throw it across the room. We didn’t change anything. That ball bouncing across the room had always happened. Way two is that you actually change something and create another universe. What you did, Tuomas, actually changed time. You did something that hadn’t happened before, and created the alternate universe. What we would do would be to stop that from happening, by going back to the concert and stopping you.”

 

“And then…”

 

“And then time would be restored. To the original universe.”

 

Tarja’s brow furrowed. “But if we go back in time and stop him from changing time, won’t that mean that this alternate universe never existed, so we couldn’t have gone back in time and stopped him?”

 

The Doctor smiled. “It’s called a paradox. Tricky things, paradoxes. Try not to think too much about it,” he winked. “But what will happen is when you stop him, we’ll go back into the TARDIS where time will essentially be frozen. The original universe will restore itself, so as soon as you step out of the TARDIS, you will be whisked off to wherever you were supposed to be, and you will have no memory of anything that happened in the alternate universe. All your memories will be matched up with what should have happened to you in the original universe. Again, one of time’s ways of fixing itself.

 

Tarja looked up at Tuomas. “We don’t have much of a choice, do we?”

 

He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. “No, angel, we don’t.”

 

They stayed in the embrace for a few long moments before he finally let her go.

 

They both looked at the Doctor.

 

“Let’s do it.”

 

**********

 

“This is so surreal,” Tarja whispered as they walked hand in hand out of the TARDIS and down the crowded street toward the concert hall.

 

Tuomas nodded, squeezing her hand and remembering how it had felt for him the first time.

 

The air in the building was alive with a pre-concert buzz. They squeezed their way through the crowd in the back, trying to find Tuomas and the Doctor. They finally spotted them standing against the back wall.

 

“Careful,” the present version of the Doctor said from behind them. “Don’t let anyone see you guys.”

 

They kept their heads down as they made their way over to where the past versions of Tuomas and the Doctor were.

 

Once they reached them, Tarja and Tuomas exchanged a glance, and then she kissed his cheek. “It’s okay. You can do this.”

 

He cleared his throat. 

 

“Tuomas,” he said.

 

The past version of him turned around, and his eyes widened. 

 

“It’s okay,” present Tuomas said. “We just need to talk to you.”

 

The past Tuomas glanced between him and Tarja and then back to him.

 

“We’re from the future,” present Tuomas said.

 

“Your future,” Tarja added.

 

Present Tuomas took a deep breath. “We’re asking you not to go through with this.”

 

Past Tuomas swallowed hard. “Why not? Does … does something bad happen?”

 

“Yes. Something terrible. Something I never saw coming. Please don’t do this. I know how much it means to you, how important it is for you. But it’s not worth the side effects it caused.”

 

Past Tuomas was silent for a moment, thinking it over.

 

“Please,” Tarja said softly, and he looked up at her. “This is the only chance we have of stopping this.”

 

He nodded slowly, looking at her sadly. 

 

“Okay,” he said in almost a whisper. “I won’t do it.”

 

Present Tuomas breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you.”

 

They turned to leave, but past Tuomas called after them. “Wait! Wait, what happens? Please tell me. I want to know.”

 

Tuomas and Tarja slowly turned around again to face him.

 

“There is a huge outbreak of Ebola that wipes out a large portion of the population,” present Tuomas explained.

 

“But … I don’t understand. How can that happen because of this? It’s not connected at all.”

 

“Time doesn’t always make sense,” the present Doctor spoke from behind them. “What you do when you time travel can have ripple effects that you never expected.”

 

“Are … are we married?” past Tuomas asked Tarja.

 

She smiled. “Yes.”

 

Tears filled his eyes and he was unable to stop them from falling. 

 

Tarja stepped forward and hugged him gently, and he clung to her tightly for a moment.

 

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed as she embraced him. “I’m sorry for everything. I always loved you! I never wanted to hurt you.”

 

“It’s okay, Tuomas,” Tarja said gently. “It’s okay.”

 

“We have to go,” the present Doctor said, breaking the moment. 

 

Tarja let the past Tuomas go and nodded, taking the present Tuomas’ hand once more.

 

The Doctors saluted each other, and Tuomas realized that this must be normal for them, running into each other at different points in time. He just shook his head, and they walked out of the concert hall and back into the TARDIS.

 

**********

 

The Doctor left the main room to give Tarja and Tuomas privacy.

 

Silence weighed down the air between them as soon as he had gone.

 

“So,” Tarja whispered, her voice already thick with tears. “I guess this is goodbye.”

 

Tuomas couldn’t bring himself to speak over the lump that had formed in his throat.

 

“Everything … everything I went through with you,” she continued, her voice shaking. “Things you don’t remember! My … my whole life. It’s just going to be … gone. Like it never even happened. We’ll just be whisked back to where we were. Different parts of the world, different lives, not speaking to each other!”

 

Her voice broke and she took a deep breath, unable to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

 

“How can I forget you?” she said softly, cupping his cheeks and stroking them with her thumbs. “You’re right here … how is everything going to just … disappear?”

 

“Tarja…” he whispered, his voice cracking.

 

“I love you, Tuomas,” she whispered. “And I promise you that will never change. I don’t care about time, I don’t care about universes or memories. I will always love you.”

 

“Oh, Tari,” he said, and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

 

His tears streamed down into her hair and she sobbed into his chest. He had thought that he knew what it felt like for his heart to break. When he had watched her get attacked onstage, when he saw her crying in her dressing room, when he had to leave her in the hotel room when the Doctor came to get him, when he had upset her by touching the food without washing his hands, when he had held her in his arms after they had made love, knowing everything was about to disappear. But that wasn’t what it felt like. All of those instances had only made cracks in his heart. Now, it was breaking. He could feel it shattering into a million pieces in his chest. He didn’t care about their memories being wiped or going back to their life in the new universe. It didn’t matter. He knew his heart could never be whole again without her.

 

Neither of them had any idea how long they had stayed like that, but the Doctor’s voice tore them from the moment.

 

His eyes held deep sadness as he looked at the pair. “It’s time.”

 

Tarja pulled away from Tuomas and took his hands. “If for some crazy reason, either of us ever remembers, we’ll meet at the oak tree. That was our place, you know, if one of us was upset or needed time alone, but we also spent time there together.”

 

He nodded. “Okay. I will.”

 

He hugged her one last time. She held onto him so tightly he could barely breathe, but he didn’t care.

 

She cupped his cheeks again. “I’m grateful for the time I had with you. Even though it wasn’t nearly enough.”

 

“Same here,” he whispered, and they both smiled through their tears.

 

They turned towards the Doctor. 

 

“We’re ready,” Tuomas said.

 

The Doctor nodded. “I wish you the best of luck. Both of you.”

 

He snapped his fingers, and the door opened.

 

Tarja and Tuomas turned toward each other again.

 

“Together?”

 

“Together.”

 

He reached for her hand, and she took it. And together, they stepped out of the TARDIS.


	12. Chapter 12

It started out with a dream.

 

She woke up in the middle of the night crying, and Marcelo immediately put his arms around her.

 

“Honey, what’s wrong?”

 

“I-I don’t know,” she sobbed. “I can’t remember what I dreamed about. It’s on the edge of my mind, but I can’t think of what it was. I just know that it was sad … so, so sad…”

 

**********

Every night for a week, the same thing happened; she woke up sobbing and couldn’t remember what she had dreamed about, whatever it was being just out of reach. 

 

“I remember!” she gasped when she woke up one night a week later. “I can remember something!”

 

“What is it?” Marcelo lay his hand on her arm to calm her.

 

“There was a blue box. It was a blue police box. And I was stepping out of it with someone.”

 

“Who, sweetheart?” Marcelo asked gently.

 

“I … I can’t remember. I just know it was someone that I was going to lose when I stepped out of the box,” her voice softened. “ Someone I cared about a lot.”

 

“Well … dreams can be strange sometimes. If this keeps going, you should talk to someone, Tarja. Maybe someone could help you get rid of this.”

 

She shook her head. “That … that won’t help. There’s something important. I can feel it. There’s something else I need to remember…”

 

“Okay,” Marcelo said slowly, “but you wake up crying every night, love. I don’t think this is good for you. And you have your Christmas tour soon.”

 

“I’ll be fine,” she assured him. “Let’s just go back to sleep.”

 

**********

“How can I forget you?” Tarja said softly, cupping his cheeks and stroking them with her thumbs. “You’re right here … how is everything going to just … disappear?”

 

“I love you, Tuomas,” she whispered. “And I promise you that will never change. I don’t care about time, I don’t care about universes or memories. I will always love you.”

 

Tuomas jolted awake. It was Tarja, he knew it. He had dreamed about her before, but never like this. It had felt so real, more like a memory than a dream. And they had been standing together in some sort of box…

 

The rest of the dream had slipped away from him, except for what she had said. Disappear? What was going to disappear?

 

**********

 

Tarja let Marcelo sleep on the couch so he didn’t have to wake up every night, and she kept a notebook and a pen on the nightstand so she could write down everything she remembered when she woke up.

 

Some nights she remembered more and some nights there was nothing new. She would spend most of the day going through what she had written down in the notebook again and again. She would often cry when she read it, overcome with sadness even though she couldn’t place the reason for it. Marcelo took care of Naomi and watched Tarja slip further and further away.

 

“Sweetheart,” Marcelo said, reaching across the breakfast table to touch her arm gently. “I’m worried about you. Whatever’s going on, it’s not healthy. You’re not … you’re not here. You’re off somewhere else and it’s like I can’t reach you. You know we leave tomorrow, right?”

 

She nodded. “I'm sorry that I've been distant, but … it's hard to explain…” she trailed off, running a hand through her hair. “I know this is important. I just have this feeling that there's something I need to remember that I can't.”

 

“Tarja … “ he said softly. “You know it’s just a dream, right?”

 

She shook her head furiously. “It’s not. You don’t understand. It’s a memory. Whatever happened in the dream really happened to me, I know it.”

 

Marcelo looked at her sadly. “Okay, if you think it’s important.”

 

He stood up and cleared their dishes.

 

“But you know that this can’t go on forever. At some point, you’re going to need to come back to reality.”

 

**********

Tuomas continued to have the same dream, and he wasn’t able to shake the feeling that it was important that he remembered something, but he couldn’t think of what it was. 

 

As he was eating lunch one day, the doorbell rang. He went to answer it and saw a postman holding a small dark blue package.

 

“This is for you, Mr. Holopainen,” he said, holding it out to him.

 

“Thank you,” Tuomas said, taking it. He was about to shut the door when he saw the postman’s face. He had spiky brown hair and glasses, and he looked strangely familiar.

 

“Have we met?” Tuomas asked.

 

The postman frowned. “No, I don’t think so, Mr. Holopainen. I think I would have remembered.”

 

Tuomas smiled. “It must be just my imagination. Thank you.”

 

The postman nodded and turned back down Tuomas’ front walkway.

 

Tuomas closed the door and set the package on the counter. There was no return address, only his home address typed and pasted on the front.

 

He bit his lip, wondering if maybe it was a crazed fan trying to kill him. There could be a bomb inside!

 

But he was curious, and it was probably harmless.

 

He ran a knife down the line of tape and opened the box. There was a book on how to care for oak trees inside of it.

 

He frowned. That was … random.

 

He flipped through the book, looking for a piece of paper or anything significant, but there was nothing.

 

He shrugged and left it on the counter before clearing his dishes from lunch.

 

A few days later, the postman came with another package that was wrapped exactly the same- no return address, his address typed, and the dark blue paper.

 

It was full of oak leaves and acorns.

 

It had to be a prank. There was no other explanation for it.

 

**********

 

December passed and Tarja went on her Ave Maria Christmas tour. She was able to put aside everything for the concerts and still sang beautifully, but for the rest of the time that she wasn’t performing, things between her and Marcelo only got worse. He tried again and again to get her to go to therapy, but she continually refused him until he finally stopped pushing her. They drifted further and further apart.

 

“This has gone on long enough,” Marcelo said and stood up from the table one day in early January, after they had finished eating dinner. As had become the norm, Marcelo fed Naomi in her high chair and Tarja stared off into space, barely touching her food.

 

“You have to choose, because I’m not doing this anymore,” he continued. “Choose between … whatever this is,” he made a vague gesture to her notebook that was lying on the counter, “and your family. You can’t have both.”

 

Tears filled her eyes. “Are you saying you’ll divorce me?”

 

He closed his eyes and sighed. “Yes, that is what I’m saying, Tarja. I can’t go on like this. Do you not see how this is hurting me? How this is hurting your daughter? For god’s sake, you’ve acted like she hasn’t existed ever since you had that dream!”

 

“Marcelo, please!” she cried, hiding her face in her hands and beginning to sob. “ Please don’t do this … not like this…”

 

Sighing again, he sat down next to her and rubbed gentle circles on her back.

 

“Tarja …” he began, “come back to me, please, my love. This doesn’t have to be the end. Agree to go to a therapist, please! I love you! But you’re going insane! It’s like you don’t hear me when I talk to you anymore! You’re off somewhere else all the time! I want you to get better but you won’t let me help you! You push me away! And I’ve had enough!”

 

She sobbed even harder. Marcelo watched her helplessly until her tears subsided into small hiccups and she looked up at him.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “But I can’t. I can’t give this up.”

 

Marcelo’s eyes widened in disbelief. “So this is it then? This is what you choose?”

 

She nodded, fresh tears filling her eyes.

 

“Okay,” he said quietly. “I’ll get the forms.”

 

Tarja decided to move back to Finland, due to an unexplainable feeling, similar to the sadness she felt every night, that she was supposed to be there.

 

“I was thinking, well, it wouldn’t be easy, of course, but every other month or something, we could take turns flying back and forth. So, for example, you could keep Naomi for now, and then in two months, you could fly to Finland and give her to me, and then two months later I would fly to Argentina…”

 

She trailed off when she saw the expression on Marcelo’s face.

 

“What? What is it?”

 

He ran a hand through his hair. “Tarja … I planned a court date. To discuss who will get custody.”

 

Her expression immediately turned to one of terror. “No!” she cried. “No, Marcelo, please!”

 

He shook his head. “Stop. Don’t do this. Don’t suddenly pretend to care now, after these last few months of hell. I don’t think you are in stable enough condition to take care of a child, Tarja, but we’ll let the courts decide.”


	13. Chapter 13

Tuomas dreamed the same thing again and again; he and Tarja were in some sort of box. They were both crying and holding each other- something was going to happen that was sad, unbearably sad… The dream began to consume him. The songs he wrote got darker and more depressing as he poured all of the unexplainable sadness he felt onto paper. Floor and the guys started to get more and more worried about him as they watched his descent into despair. He hadn’t told them that Tarja was in the dream; they would certainly think he was crazy then. He knew that he had never stopped loving her, but he felt that there was a deeper reason as to why she was in his dreams every night. Something on the edge of his mind, something he couldn’t quite place. It was like he had seen her since that last concert in 2005, but he couldn’t think of how it was possible.

 

Every few days, he would get another package from the postman. He had gotten, besides the first two gifts, an oak tree painting, an oak tree sculpture, an oak tree t-shirt, and even a baby oak tree in a pot. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? Plant it in his backyard?

 

Finally, when the postman came with yet another package, Tuomas asked him to stop bringing them to him.

 

“Someone is playing a prank on me,” he explained. “So if you could please just dispose of them, that would be great.”

 

“Very well,” the postman sighed. “But Tuomas, I think whoever is sending these packages to you is not playing a prank. They’re trying to help you.”

 

“Help me? How is an oak tree t-shirt going to help me with anything?”

 

The postman smiled. “I’m sure you’ll figure it out eventually.”

 

He turned and walked down the path.

 

“Wait! What does that mean?” Tuomas called after him. “Come back!”

 

But he had already turned the corner and was out of sight.

 

The tabloids blew up with Tarja and Marcelo’s divorce, and Tuomas read the articles in shock. Could this mean something? He dismissed the idea as quickly as it had come. Of course it didn’t, he was just being foolish. 

 

**********

 

The courts ruled in Marcelo’s favor. As soon as the judge banged the gavel, Tarja rushed out of the courtroom to the lobby and burst into tears. Marcelo quietly entered the room and put his arm around her shoulders.

 

“Tarja,” he said gently. “I’m not doing this to spite you. I’m doing this because I want what’s best for our daughter. You heard what they said. If you go to therapy and someone they send out to you can verify that you’re stable enough, we’ll work something out, okay?”

 

She nodded.

 

“Is there … is there anything I can do?” he asked. 

 

She looked up at him. “Please don’t let this get into the media. I don’t want anyone to know.”

 

“Of course,” he said, slowly removing his hands from her shoulders and looking at her sadly. “I wish you the best, Tarja.”

 

She pulled away from him.

 

“Thank you. Goodbye, Marcelo.”

 

**********

 

One week later, Tarja sat on the couch in her new home in Finland, gazing out the window at the snow falling, and going over and over in her mind everything Marcelo had said to her. Was it true? Was this what it felt like to be going crazy? 

 

She saw her reflection in the window. There were dark circles under her eyes and her clothes hung much too loosely on her rail-thin frame.

 

“Am I insane?” she whispered, reaching out to touch the glass.

 

She didn’t even recognize the face that stared back at her, and that’s when she decided that she had to put an end to this.

 

Her hands shaking, she went and got the phone book, and made a therapy appointment.

 

**********

 

The postman never came back. Tuomas realized something was amiss when the Itella* truck drove up to his house and a postman got out with a package.

 

It was a late Christmas present from one of his friends that had nothing to do with oak trees.

 

The postman that had come with the strange packages never had a truck. He wasn’t even the usual postman.

 

Then the postman appeared in his dream.

 

He and Tarja were holding hands and turned to face him.

 

“We’re ready,” Tuomas said, and the postman nodded.

 

Tuomas got out of bed and ran to the kitchen, where he had kept all of the gifts in a corner. He examined each one, even read the whole book on how to care for oak trees, and became more and more discouraged when he discovered nothing of importance. But he didn’t get rid of the gifts, knowing they must have some significance if the postman was part of his dream. And he couldn’t shake the feeling in the back of his mind that they had something to do with whatever it was that he had to remember.

 

**********

 

“Ms. Turunen?”

 

She stood up from her seat in the waiting room to meet her therapist.

 

“Hello, I’m Doctor John Smith. I’ll be seeing you today,” said a man with spiky brown hair, glasses, and a pinstriped suit.

 

“Hello,” she smiled, shaking his hand. 

 

“This way,” he led her down a hallway and into a small room that had a black leather chair facing a fawn colored couch, a plush rug and clear coffee table with a painted sculpture of an oak tree on it in between them. On the walls there were paintings of oak trees and a large window overlooking the snowy scene that surrounded the office. 

 

She sat down on the couch and Dr. Smith sat in the chair.

 

“How are you today?” he asked.

 

“Wait,” she said. “Sorry, but you look so familiar. Have we met?”

 

“Not that I know of, Ms. Turunen-”

 

“Tarja. You can call me Tarja.”

 

He smiled, and she was struck again by how familiar he seemed. “Not that I know of, Tarja. But of course, it is possible that I don’t remember.”

 

She shrugged. “You probably just remind me of someone.”

 

He positioned his clipboard on his lap. “Before we begin, I would like to inform you that everything you say to me will be kept confidential. You don’t have to worry about this getting out into the media. This is a safe space.”

 

She nodded. “Thank you.”

 

“So, why are you here today?”

 

She sighed, tears already threatening to overtake her. “Well, I think I’m going insane.”

 

He started making notes on his clipboard. “What do you mean by that?”

 

She told him about the dream she kept having, about her divorce, and about Naomi.

 

“I want her back,” she said. “I want her back so much. But I-I don’t want you to make me stop having the dream. I’m sure, more sure than I’ve ever been of anything in my life, that it means something. But maybe that’s what going crazy feels like.”

 

Dr. Smith put his pen down. “We’re out of time today, Tarja, but I would like to let you know that I can’t make you do anything. I can suggest things to you- offer my advice, but it will always be your choice. So you don’t have to worry about me stopping you from having the dream. And we’ll get more into how to do this later, but try to challenge the thought you’re having that you’re insane. That’s quite a judgement to make, and I think you may be overestimating the amount of evidence you have for it, alright?”

 

“Okay,” she smiled. “Thank you, Dr. Smith.”

 

She handed him the check and he thanked her. They set the date for their next session, and Tarja left the office feeling lighter than she had in months.

 

**********

“Together?” Tuomas asked.

 

“Together.”

 

Tears streamed down her face as she slid her cold, trembling hand into his warm strong one and they stepped out of the blue box.

 

She woke with a start and his name on her lips.

 

“Tuomas.”

 

She had been going to therapy three times a week for a month now, still having the dream every single night. Dr. Smith was helping her balance her thoughts and work out her feelings about the dream, the divorce and Naomi. A social services worker had visited her recently and said that she was making progress and that if she continued on this path, she would get partial custody of Naomi.

 

She would have to wait to tell Dr. Smith about Tuomas; her next therapy session was two days away.

 

**********

 

She cupped Tuomas’ cheeks. “I’m grateful for the time I had with you. Even though it wasn’t nearly enough.”

 

“Same here,” he whispered, and they both smiled through their tears.

 

Then they turned and faced a man with spiky brown hair, glasses, and a pinstriped suit.

 

Tarja jolted awake, her mind spinning. Why had Dr. Smith been in her dream?

 

“I remember…” she whispered. “He was there …”

 

She buried her face in her hands. She felt closer to remembering whatever was so important, closer than she had ever been before. But she still wasn’t there, and now she was more frustrated than ever.

 

*the Finnish postal service


	14. Chapter 14

“How are you doing?” Dr. Smith asked her the next day as he closed the door to the room.

 

She watched him closely as he sat down. Yes, it was definitely him who had been in her dream, there was no doubt about it. 

 

Today, he had gone for a more casual look of a t-shirt with a drawing of an oak tree on it, jeans, and converse.

 

“May I ask what it is that you like about oak trees?” she said, sitting down on the couch. “You have the sculpture, the paintings, and now the shirt.”

 

Dr. Smith smiled. “To me, they’re a symbol of life and strength.”

 

She nodded. Her heart was racing. How would he react to her telling him about his presence in her dream? She would start with Tuomas.

 

“What do you think that means?” she asked after she had told him about realizing it was Tuomas who was with her in the box in the dream.

 

“Well, I can’t be sure, of course, and I don’t know the details of your history with him, but from what I do know, I can suggest that maybe things never got resolved between the two of you, and that is finally starting to surface.”

 

“Maybe,” she sighed. “But I swear, it’s a memory, not a dream. And I have to tell you something that might be slightly creepy.”

 

“Go ahead,” he smiled. “There is no judgement here, Tarja.”

 

She took a deep breath. “I know why you look familiar to me now. You were there. In my dream last night. I remember that it was your box. Tuomas and I were in your box and we were about to do something that broke our hearts but had to be done- I can remember exactly how it felt, but not what we were doing or what happened before …”

 

She trailed off and hid her head in her hands, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “Just- just give me a minute.”

 

“It’s alright,” Dr. Smith said kindly. “Take as much time as you need. Would you like me to leave the room?”

 

She shook her head. “I’ll be fine in a minute.”

 

She finally removed her hands from her face and looked up at him.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked gently.

 

She nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. It just- it hurts. Whenever I think about the dream, it makes me so sad and I still can’t figure out why … Anyway, what I wanted to talk about was seeing you.”

 

“Right. Well, I’m sorry, but I still can’t think of a time when we’ve met before. Perhaps I remind you of someone?”

 

“No,” she said firmly. “It was you. I know it was.”

 

“Tarja, I know that this is causing you a lot of pain. But I have a feeling that it will all be over very soon.”

 

“Over? What do you mean?”

 

“You’re going to figure out what it is you need to remember.”

 

She looked at him in disbelief. “How do you know?”

 

“Just trust me, Tarja. Everything will be alright.”

 

**********

 

“So,” Tarja whispered, her voice already thick with tears. “I guess this is goodbye.”

 

“Everything … everything I went through with you,” she continued, her voice shaking. “Things you don’t remember! My … my whole life. It’s just going to be … gone. Like it never even happened. We’ll just be whisked back to where we were. Different parts of the world, different lives, not speaking to each other!”

 

Her voice broke and she took a deep breath, unable to stop the tears from rolling down her cheeks.

 

“How can I forget you?” she said softly, cupping his cheeks and stroking them with her thumbs. “You’re right here … how is everything going to just … disappear?”

 

“I love you, Tuomas,” she whispered. “And I promise you that will never change. I don’t care about time, I don’t care about universes or memories. I will always love you.”

 

“Oh, Tari,” he said, and pulled her into a tight embrace. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

 

His tears streamed down into her hair and she sobbed into his chest.

 

The Doctor’s voice tore them from the moment.

 

His eyes held deep sadness as he looked at the pair. “It’s time.”

 

Tarja pulled away from Tuomas and took his hands. “If for some crazy reason, either of us ever remembers, we’ll meet at the oak tree.” 

 

The oak tree. 

 

And all at once, everything came rushing back to her. The Doctor, the TARDIS, Tuomas, their wedding, the miscarriages, the Ebola epidemic, the problems with time, and how they finally had to separate.

 

She woke up with tears pouring down her face, harder than ever before, and this time they didn’t stop.

 

She ran through her house and to the garage, getting into her car. Somehow, she knew where to go, even though she had never been there before.

 

She parked near a forest and ran through the trees until she came to a clearing with a large oak tree in the center. Their tree. She didn’t feel the cold anymore, she just ran as fast as she could to the tree. Would Tuomas be waiting for her there?

 

When she got there, she was completely out of breath. Her lungs felt like they were on fire. She collapsed onto the snow until she could finally breathe normally again, and looked at her surroundings. There was nothing but the still night air and a blanket of snow. 

 

Fresh tears filled her eyes as the realization slowly came over her. It wasn’t real. The dream really was just a crazy hallucination she was having. She really was insane. Tuomas wasn’t coming. The Doctor didn’t exist. It was all just an elaborate fantasy her mind had concocted.

 

All of the joy and adrenaline that had coursed through her body in the last hour melted away, leaving her numb.

 

She lay on her back and gazed up at the starry night sky, and felt a sense of peace come over her. It was all really just a dream. The last few months of her life had been insanity, but it was over now. She had finally remembered the oak tree, but it was just a nice made up story.

 

She closed her eyes and pulled her legs up to her chest, letting sleep take her into its warm and comforting arms.

 

**********

 

“If for some crazy reason, either of us ever remembers, we’ll meet at the oak tree.” 

 

The oak tree.

 

And suddenly, he remembered everything. Going back in time to the Guadalajara concert, going home to Tarja, the Ebola outbreak, the Doctor, the TARDIS, and how they finally had to separate.

 

He woke up with his face stained with tears, tears that ran down his cheeks in an endless stream. He jumped out of bed and pulled on a pair of jeans and his boots, then slipped on his coat and ran out the door.

 

His feet led him through his yard and through the woods to a clearing with the oak tree that he recognized. When he came closer, he saw a figure curled up at the base of the tree. His heartbeat quickened, and he knelt down next to the woman on the ground.

 

It was Tarja. His Tarja. Her long dark hair was loose and spread out in the snow around her head. She was wearing only a white nightgown and her eyes were closed. He reached out and touched her skin. It was cold as ice.

 

“Tarja,” he whispered, and shook her gently.

 

She didn’t move.

 

“No,” he said. “No, not like this.”

 

He pulled her into his arms and tenderly stroked her hair away from her face. A lump rose in his throat and tears pooled in his eyes as he gazed down at her peaceful face. 

 

“Tarja, please,” he sobbed, his tears falling down onto her cheeks. “Don’t leave me. Don't you dare leave me. Not now that we can be together. Do you hear me? This is our happy ending.”

 

He began to sob uncontrollably, holding her limp body close to him. How could he lose her now, after everything they had been through? 

 

It was when his sobs had finally begun to subside that he heard her voice, weak and faint.

 

“Tuomas.”

 

He looked down and saw that she had opened her eyes, gazing up at him. 

 

“Tuomas, am I dreaming?”

 

“Tarja!” he cried. “Tarja, oh, thank god, oh god I thought I had lost you! No, my love, you’re wide awake. It’s not a dream anymore. We’re here, together.”

 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. He returned the embrace and closed his eyes, finally feeling at peace after so many nights of sadness and frustration.

 

“Tuomas,” she sobbed into his chest. “I thought I was going crazy! Every morning I would wake up and I wouldn’t be able to remember- I just knew that we were in a box and we were about to do something and then I would wake up crying every morning! Thank god it’s over now.”

 

“It’s over,” he whispered, stroking her back and burying his face in her hair. “We’re together now.”

 

Slowly, they stood up and dusted off the snow that had clung to their backs and legs.

 

He took off his coat and put it around her shoulders.

 

“Tuomas, you don’t have to-”

 

“Tarja, please, all you’re wearing is a nightgown! You could have frozen to death. Just take it, love.” 

 

She put it on. “Thanks,” she said softly. 

 

“Of course.”

 

He leaned towards her and cupped her cheeks with his hands. He looked at her hesitantly for a moment, as if asking for permission. She just nodded, her eyes shining. He closed the distance between them, kissing her cold lips until they were warm. 

 

“God, I love you,” he said once they had separated, his hands still tenderly caressing her cheeks. He felt like he needed to touch her at all times or she would fade away. 

 

“Oh Tuomas,” she whispered. “I love you too.”

 

He pulled her into another embrace and held her tightly. 

 

“Did you have the same dream?” she asked him. 

 

He nodded and pulled away from the hug, keeping his hands resting on her arms. 

 

“Why do you think that was?” she asked. “That we both dreamed about our other life?”

 

“Well, like I said, time is messy,” came a familiar voice. “It doesn’t always pick up after itself. It can leave bits and pieces behind where they weren’t supposed to be.”

 

“Doctor!” Tarja gasped as they saw the familiar figure of their friend emerge from the trees.

 

“And then sometimes,” he continued, smiling, “there are forces that are stronger than time. Forces that time can’t stop. Your love survived between universes- it was too strong for time to destroy. It manifested itself in the form of your dreams and it caused both of you great pain, and, of course, I helped you along the way, but you fought for what you believed. Both of you knew that the dream was real, and you wouldn’t give up on that feeling.”

 

Tarja turned to Tuomas. “He helped you too?”

 

Tuomas nodded. “He pretended to be my postman! He kept giving me packages with oak tree stuff- acorns, a book, even a t-shirt!”

 

Tarja giggled.

 

“What did he do for you?” Tuomas asked.

 

“He was my therapist,” Tarja explained. “And he had all sorts of oak tree related things in his room- a sculpture and paintings, stuff like that.”

 

They both turned around to face the Doctor.

 

“So time is okay now?” Tuomas asked. “It’s fixed?”

 

The Doctor nodded. “All back to normal.”

 

“Doctor, I can remember two versions of my life at once,” Tarja said. “Will that ever go away?”

 

He shook his head. “I’m sorry, but they will both always be there. It hurts, I know, but you will get used to it.”

 

She nodded. “Thank you for helping us.”

 

“Of course,” he smiled. “It’s been lovely talking to you, but I’m afraid I have to go now.”

 

“You will come back and visit us again, won’t you?” Tarja asked.

 

“Yes,” the Doctor said. “Of course I will.”

 

Tarja hugged him first. 

 

“Thank you,” she whispered. “For everything. I- I don’t know how I would have made it through the last few months without you.”

 

Then Tuomas hugged him. 

 

“I’m sorry for what happened.”

 

“It’s alright,” the Doctor said. “Everything’s back to normal now.”

 

They said their final goodbyes.

 

As the sounds of the TARDIS taking off filled the clearing, Tuomas put his arm around Tarja and the two of them began their walk back through the woods and into their new life.


	15. Epilogue

Tuomas opened the door to his house and let Tarja inside. 

 

“Home sweet home,” he chuckled as he shut the door behind them and gently removed his coat from her shoulders, hanging it up on the rack. “Do you remember it?”

 

“Yes,” she whispered, her eyes scanning the living room. “I remember everything. I can't believe that we’re really here … together.”

 

“Neither can I.” 

 

He pulled her into his arms and as she held onto him tightly, he noticed how she seemed to be trembling. 

 

“Sweetheart, you’re shivering,” he said, rubbing up and down her arms as she pulled away. 

 

“I'm fine,” she insisted. 

 

“No, you're not. We need to get you warmed up. How about you go take a hot shower, and while you're doing that, I'll start a fire and make us some tea. How does that sound?” 

 

“That sounds okay,” she said softly. 

 

He put his arm around her shoulders and led her down the hallway. He went into his room and grabbed sweatpants and a Sonata Arctica sweatshirt for her to wear, and then met her in the bathroom. 

 

“Here,” he said, holding the clothes out to her. “Put these on when you're done.”

 

“Thanks,” she smiled. 

 

Tuomas walked back out to the kitchen and started boiling water to make tea. He couldn't keep a smile off of his face. They were finally together. Even though time had almost been ripped apart, he wouldn't have changed a thing about what he had done, because it had brought them together. While the water was boiling, he lit a fire in the fireplace. 

 

His smile widened when she came out into the kitchen wearing his sweats. They were much too big on her, but he found it absolutely adorable. 

 

“Are you still cold?” he asked. 

 

“A little,” she said, “ but much better than I was.”

 

“Good,” he smiled. “Tea?”

 

She nodded, and he brought their mugs over to the couch. The fire was alive now and warming the room. He had brought a plush blanket over the black leather couch that he pulled over them as they sat down. 

 

They drank their tea and talked through the night until they could see the first hints of pink and orange coloring the sky out the window and they could barely keep their eyes open. 

 

Tarja curled up against him, her head nestled into his shoulder. He put his arms around her and kissed her hair. 

 

“Goodnight, my love,” he whispered. 

 

“Good night.”

 

**********

Tarja moved in with Tuomas and a month later, she was approved to get partial custody of Naomi. Tarja and Tuomas would get her for two months, then they would fly to Argentina and give her to Marcelo.

 

It wasn’t the most convenient arrangement, but it worked out for them and Tarja was overjoyed to see her baby girl again. Tuomas loved Naomi like she was his own, and Tarja and Tuomas finally got to fulfill their dream of becoming parents.

 

The media blew up as soon as it was discovered that Tarja and Tuomas had gotten together. Nightwish fans went wild and rumors flew that Tarja had been cheating on Marcelo with Tuomas and that she would go back to Nightwish now.

 

Eventually, they were able to quiet the rumors by making up a story about running into each other on the street when Tarja moved back to Finland, becoming friends again, and falling in love.

 

Tarja continued her solo career with a new manager and Nightwish carried on as well. Once fans got over the initial disappointment that Tarja wasn’t rejoining Nightwish, they saw that she was happy doing her solo work. Tuomas wrote a song that she would be featured on for the next Nightwish album.

 

They got married at the end of the year, as soon as Tarja and Marcelo’s divorce had been finalized. They had a small wedding in a beautiful church in Kittee. The day was filled with happiness and love, and it was only made better by the unexpected guest sitting in the back row.

 

It wasn’t always easy; they were sometimes apart for months at a time when they were on separate tours on opposite ends of the world. They fought about things ranging from Tuomas leaving his socks on the floor and someone forgetting to put eyeliner on the list for the store to their finances and what was best for Naomi. The oak tree was used when one of them needed time alone, but also when they wanted to be together, away from the stress of recording and scheduling performances. The force that was more powerful than anything in the world, that kept them together and would never ever fade, was their love.


End file.
